Well… I didn’t see this coming on the radar… let me explain… but then let me make the larger and more general point. Afterall, I certainly don’t share this story because I believe my life is so interesting that others are interested in following it. Here we go.
The initial text I sent this morning said, “I decided to commit.” After several hours of sitting in all the different emotions surrounding my new reality, I resent the text to my friend stating, “I decided to make myself inconvenienced and uncomfortable.” It then occurred to me that this was something to write more about…
But first, a bit about how this played out.
ABOUT 72 HOURS EARLIER
Let me go back almost 72 hours to when this story began.
It was Wednesday morning and I was commuting to an appointment in another town about 45 minutes away and decided to take the back country roads. Now when I say country roads, I mean the dirt roads that kick up the dust so heavy that you can taste it in the air even though the cloud is behind you; I mean the kind of roads that have those spots with the washboard effect that rattle the teeth… yeah, those kinds of back roads. I wanted time to think… to pray. I’m not a guy you’ll find in church, but I am a guy who prays, and I will forever depend on the grace and mercy of my God to get me through this life and onto the next. Not preaching… just telling you where I was…; I was in that place where I needed more than Google Maps or Siri to help me navigate the course I wanted to take.
I’m knocking on the door of 65 years old… I’m getting the Medicare emails… the AARP emails… and I really have no desire for retirement. I need to feel productive and engaged in this life, and retirement just doesn’t really seem appealing to me. So, as I’m driving the long way to my appointment down this dirt road toward my destination, I had to really think about what I want for these years of my life that I’m heading into. The answer was easy… I need my days to have purpose and meaning. That all sounds good and perhaps that is a common wish for all of us, but what does purpose and meaning look like? For me, purpose and meaning will always tie into investing in other people. I will forever be a coach, a teacher, and I’ve embraced the fact that as I am surrounded by so many 30-somethings in my work community, I am also viewed as a mentor.
So, I’m driving down this road eating dust and asking my Lord for meaning and purpose in the days ahead. It’s really a dangerous prayer if you want to think about it because it’s most likely going to lead us into places that will ultimately cause us to depend on the Lord to navigate. It’s fine if you can’t relate to some “Lord” out there… call it a force… call it whatever you wish… whatever you call it, it doesn’t need to be a stumbling block in this conversation.
If we want to pray big prayers, or think big thoughts (if the prayer thing makes you uncomfortable) then we better be prepared to rely on a big God to show up and lead us through them. (That was free advice… it has nothing to do with this post… or maybe it does…) Anyways, I really had no idea what an answer to this prayer would look like… but after all these years, I do trust my God is good and He knows my heart better than myself. I don’t trust the organized Church… the institution of Church… but I do trust my God.
THE PHONE CALL
About 6 hours later, that same Wednesday afternoon, my phone rang as I sat at my desk busily wrapping up my workday. I don’t normally answer my personal cellphone when it’s an unfamiliar number, but I was expecting a call from a guy who was scheduled to come by the house and give me an estimate on a remodel job, so I thought it was him.
“Hi Gordon, this is Matt [Blah, Blah, Blah].” Matt was a guy I talked with a bit over 4 years ago about possibly coming on board with him as a basketball coach at a local high school. At that time, I wasn’t in the place where I could commit, and some health problems led to a heart attack within 2 months of that initial meeting… so I guess it’s safe to say the timing wasn’t right. Well, that’s the last I talked with Matt… until that Wednesday afternoon a couple days ago. I’ll admit, even as the initial small talk was taking place my mind was in high gear attempting to wrap my brain around why Matt was calling me in 2026. We got there pretty quickly though…
“Gordon, would you consider coming on board as a coach at [Blah, Blah] High School?” His voice immediately transformed into Charlie Brown adult character voice (Whap-wha-whaaa-whapppwha…) as I understood nothing he was saying. All I could do in that moment was try to process what was happening. Why would this guy I spoke with only a few times over 4 years ago be calling me to coach again… Honestly, the real question was this: what the hell is going on here?
Then it occurred to me…. Hmmm… I did pray about meaning and purpose… but what’s this got to do with coaching basketball? We talked a bit and I then told him that honestly, this is all coming out of left field in my life right now, and I need to wrap my brain around the request before giving him an answer. He expressed that there was no hurry because he has all his coaches already on board, but he was looking for a mentor, someone that loves the game and wants to see it taught right.
It’s Saturday morning now and I decided that this coaching staff deserved to know what I was willing to offer and what I was not willing to offer them. They had a summer tournament at a local high school and I was invited over to meet the coaches, so I spent my morning in the gym watching some local teams play.
The head coach came over and introduced himself, and we had an amazing conversation. I’ll admit, I was pleasantly surprised to hear this coach speak about character more than “wins”. He said all the things I needed to hear and by the end of the conversation. I told him, “Okay, I’m in.”
GETTING TO THE BIGGER POINT IN THE STORY
Let’s get to the bigger point of the story, the one that is so much bigger than my little life. Whether you are a spiritual person or not… it doesn’t really matter here. I suspect this applies in many ways.
If we want to be a part of a bigger story in our lives, we have to be prepared to become inconvenienced and uncomfortable. Let me speak first about “Inconvenience”.
INCONVENIENCE: How easy it could be to spend my mornings sitting on my back patio watching the bad golfers act like they’re good golfers at the T-box behind our backyard… it would be so easy to sit and watch the squirrels fight as they establish territory around the large pine trees… It would be so easy to sit and stare at my phone mindlessly scrolling and playing stupid games as I sipped the coffee… but now, I’ve committed to something that requires me to be at the high school gym three days a week at 7:30am for open gym. There will be a few weekends coming up where we will be involved in tournaments like the one they played in yesterday and today… and I’ve always got better things to do on a Saturday morning… like sit on my back porch… drinking coffee… and watching the squirrels… oh wait, I already covered this. The point is, I just made a commitment to become involved in someone else’s story… but isn’t that what I asked for on that dusty road a couple days ago? “Well… yeah, but I didn’t think it would be answered this quickly… or in this way…”
My time is no longer my own… I’ve made a commitment and now, I must honor it. We can’t live selfish little lives if we want to be a part of something bigger than our own little world. That… THAT is what makes this commitment inconvenient.
But what about “Uncomfortable”?
UNCOMFORTABLE: Years ago, January of 2018 to be exact, I wrote a post on this blog called “Jump!” (see the link if interested). The gist of it was about facing down our fears… specifically for me, being a young boy standing on the high dive at the local pool with all my peers around.
Fear is a prison, but when we step-up and step-in to the challenge that causes the fear instead of allowing the fear to paralyze or immobilize us, we can experience freedom as we walk out of the prison cell.
In the same way, stepping into a role that is well beyond the boundaries of our comfort zone can lead to emotions that border on fear. I’ll be straight up honest here, I’ve experienced success as a coach… but the last time I was a head coach was 16 years ago… and the last time I coached in any capacity was 5 years ago. The terminology is different… the game is played differently, the generation of athlete is different… the questions are there… “is there someone more qualified for this role?”
WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS CALLED…
The quick answer to that previous question is… “Yes! There is always someone more qualified than you… and me.” But they may not be in the right place at the right time… and you are… so suck it up and realize this… your number is being called. If you’re going to take the risk associated with stepping out of the stands and onto the court (basketball metaphor there) then you need to be prepared for your number to be called. Being a spectator is safe… becoming a player who actually has a role to play in the outcome of the game… that’s uncomfortable… that’s dangerous… Afterall, there is no guarantee you will win.
I may be belaboring the point here, but any challenge we are required to step up to will require us to deal with hidden insecurities… doubts, safety, security… small mindsets… it will require us to step out of the safe little world of guarantees. It will no doubt lead us to a place of becoming uncomfortable. That’s okay! Embrace it, but don’t let it stop you. Step up… step in to the larger story that is inviting you to play a role.
Patio time is over. My wife is home and we’re going to a local brewery. I’m not thinking about this any longer. This post isn’t perfect… there’s someone else out there more qualified to make the points I’m making… but my number was called so I’m stepping up and I’m stepping in to the challenge.
Now, it’s time for a beer.