FEELING GOOD IS NOT A PREREQUISITE

This is not really a post…it’s simply a thought. So, because of that, this will be a short post and I’ll keep moving forward.

I pushed myself to get out of bed early this morning in efforts to reclaim my routine of “morning pages” (credit to Julia Cameron and her book The Artist’s Way for the Morning Pages idea). I got downstairs, made my coffee, and put pen to paper. I began by reflecting on the struggle I’ve wrestled with the past couple months…and more specifically, the past week.

I’ve been tired; fighting wears a person down. Every day I’ve got to keep my guard up regarding where my thoughts are because as we know, thoughts lead to actions. Relapse isn’t always knocking at the door…sometimes it just stands there nonchalantly blending into its surroundings, waiting for the unsuspecting person to think they’re safe and leave the door cracked open. Sometimes Relapse just hovers in our blind spot…right next to us, but just out of our awareness.

So, that being said, I’ve been tired…uninspired…not always feeling the strength to fight my fight.

MY POINT

As I wrote in my morning pages this morning, I said I was thankful because the past few days I had a small breakthrough. I wasn’t at all feeling the motivation to get back on that elliptical Tuesday night. I was battling some half-truths…wolves in sheep’s clothing. You know those thoughts…the ones that help justify the lesser choice you want to make and discourage you from making the better choice you should be making…

Why do I call those thoughts “half-truths”? They have a degree of truth to them, but in the current context, they aren’t your friends. It’s not bad to take a night off…it’s not bad to have a desire to rest and take a break from the grind…but the messages assaulting me the past week weren’t at all thinking about my best interest…they were looking for ways to break good patterns and create bad patterns. They were looking for opportunities to chip away at motivation and plant seeds of discouragement.

So, I was thankful I got back on that elliptical Tuesday night…then I got back on last night. I didn’t want to. I wanted to sit outside on my front porch and enjoy the 80-degree afternoon; I wanted to sit downstairs and binge watch Netflix; and ultimately, those thoughts would lead to eating food to numb myself so I didn’t have to feel all the thoughts I was feeling… I had every reason to justify that I was spent emotionally from a day of meeting people in circumstances that can suck the life out of a person. But I knew that fundamentally, it was the right step to take. Couple exercising with making good choices in how I ate and PRESTO! … I just created a “SLAP THE FLOOR” moment.

It’s time for me to get back to my task this morning with morning pages… but I wanted to share this thought with people who may find themselves in a similar place in their fight for change.

Feeling good about a choice is not at all a prerequisite to taking the step we need to take toward accomplishing a goal important to us. In fact, I am learning that “feeling good” tends to come only after I’ve taken the steps, so if I wait to feel good about doing something….I may not do it at all.

Best of luck to you today in your quest for change…and know you are not alone. There are many people out there silently fighting and moving forward in their battles.

See you at the top!