I was awakened by STORY at 2:00am the other morning as it stood by the side of my bed nudging me because it needed to go for a walk. Initially I ignored her because I wanted to sleep, but she persisted. A thought entered my mind, and I knew I needed to record it before I forgot, so I grabbed my phone, opened the Notes app, and created a note hoping that I would then fall back asleep and be able to address the thought in the morning, but this effort did not satisfy STORY… she would not go lay down.
It appeared that effort was not good enough. STORY needed me to get up immediately because what she needed to do would not wait until morning… so with continued coaxing, I became irritated enough that I knew sleep was not returning anytime soon and I got out of bed before 3:00am.
Just an FYI: STORY is not my dog… it’s something my imagination made up for the sake of this blog post.
Initially, I turned the coffee pot on, but because it was still so early in the morning, I was unwilling to concede the night was over yet… so I sat in the dark… thinking about the events that awoke me an hour earlier
The thoughts started with the recent news of our judge being appointed to a larger court by the Governor, and this meant significant changes were coming in my job.
I’d like to think I’m a realist and so I prefer not to spend a lot of time creating false-positive narratives. So, in my “realist” mindset, I concluded this: the judge I worked for is an exceptional leader… and “the exceptional” is not at all common… if it were, by definition, it would no longer be considered exceptional.
Let me pause for a moment to talk about the word “exceptional”. Here is a working definition I was able to obtain so we’re operating from the same definition:
- Being exceptional means being unusually good, outstanding, or far beyond the average, essentially standing out as a rare and remarkable example. It signifies being unique, singular, and not ordinary, forming an exception to the rule or typical standard.
So, with that definition being given, I repeat again… the exceptional is not at all common… if it were, by definition, it would no longer be considered exceptional.
I concluded that it is quite possible my coworkers and I will see a decline in some ways – not that I know how that decline will manifest – around how our day-to-day work is impacted by the judge who replaces my former very exceptional leader.
Sure… we will have a new judge appointed, and that judge will obviously have skills to offer, but as I’ve said, my judge was an exceptional leader… an exceptional human… she was not at all common… even in the circle of judges… she was exceptional.
Judge will take her “exceptional” gifts and travel to the higher court she has been appointed to, and on a larger scale, will contribute to impacting more people in a positive manner.
As I considered all of the ramifications of this change, I began thinking on a more positive note about those of us who will struggle in making the adjustments with the loss in our jurisdiction.
POSITIVITY WITH SUBSTANCE… I hope
I hope I will never be guilty of a false-positive mindset… I hope I will always be able to firmly establish positivity in nutrient-rich soil that allows roots to grow and bear good fruit. And so it is with that mindset that I share this perspective.
I believe there is something about each of us that makes us “exceptional” at birth. The thing is, because that trait is so fragile in our early years, we depend on those around us to protect it… to cultivate it and encourage it to grow during those all-important developmental years.
For some of us, these traits became damaged by the harshness that comes with growing up… maybe the traits were placed into a box and now sit in the corner of the basement because they were devalued and ignored due to practicality and reasoning… or perhaps the traits were buried.
Sure! We may have noticed this exceptionalism in others as we grew, but then oftentimes those thoughts were quickly replaced by critical judgments that others possessed what we lacked… and we grew to believe a lie that others were exceptional… but we were common.
But here is a truth I have seen play out over the years with the clientele I supervised… those traits are never stolen… they’re never damaged beyond repair… they may lay in dormant for years…or sadly for many, they may lay hidden away for a lifetime, but the traits are always there… waiting to be discovered … waiting to be cultivated.
I do not at all profess to know Judge’s story, but I will say this: I believe she took whatever circumstances she was given and she ran with it… I believe she overcame any and every barrier that dared to place itself in her way. I believe she probably worked her tail off and in doing so, created new opportunities that could only come about because she ran with the exceptionalness she did possess.
WHAT’S OUR STORY GONNA BE?
Initially, the news was bittersweet… happy for her, sad for me. In this version of the story, I’m left behind as the exceptional person continues to climb higher, creating a powerful legacy for her life, but leaving me behind to figure out life with an average or mediocre mindset.
That version causes me to be dependent on someone else living an exceptional life… separating themselves from the common by their determination to become the best version of themselves… and then me hoping I get the opportunity to cross paths with such a person at some point in the future, allowing me to flourish in some way under their leadership.
But why not become that person? Why not take a hard look at the compromises and the complacency that has defined the “common” life I have created to this point? Why not become that person that alters the atmosphere around them, causing others to flourish… others to be inspired… others to become challenged?
Why not me? Why not you?
In this moment, it’s easy to get emotionally fired up… like when making those New Years Resolutions… how are those going by the way?
But as I consider what “exceptional” means, I can’t help but revisit the words at the beginning of this post… the definition I shared:
- Being exceptional means being unusually good, outstanding, or far beyond the average, essentially standing out as a rare and remarkable example. It signifies being unique, singular, and not ordinary, forming an exception to the rule or typical standard.
I’ve taken a moment to highlight some words here. Because if becoming exceptional were at all easy and without sacrifice, I suspect it would then become more commonly seen around us. But seeing the exceptional is equivalent to spotting Bigfoot (my wife is the only one I know who has actually spotted Bigfoot… and although I was with her in that very moment, for some odd reason I never saw it… but I don’t want an argument here so… my wife saw Bigfoot… PERIOD!).
Because I know on a personal level very few people who would fit into this definition of exceptional, I am left to speculate on what that process looks like. I have no mentors around me that have lit the way, there is no well-worn path I can easily follow. I am left to grapple with what it looks like to become “exceptional”. I can only assume it comes at an incredibly high price, that is requires significant inconvenience to all the comfort and ease my mind has been conditioned to search out… and I can only assume that those who have attained to this mark are living with no regrets at the level of sacrifice it took to get there. I can only say that because I’ve never seen a book written or a Ted Talk recorded of someone who reached that summit of the exceptional and became disillusioned by the payoff.
This is where I will end this post. I could continue to ramble on, but those of you who are really thinking about it have gotten my point, and hopefully these words will trouble you, will not be easily forgotten… and maybe you’ll be awaken at 2:00am yourself with a lightbulb going on for you!
I have no 3-step process to offer anyone, I do not believe it is at all that easy. I’m not sure what it will take from here… I have no idea what the cost will be for me, or for you, if we decide to pursue the exceptional.
I really do hope this post troubles you into wrestling with your own questions, and if you learn something that may benefit others, please feel free to share it here with me.
I’m not looking for clicks… I’m looking for answers.