I was talking with my writer friend over coffee today and in the course of the conversation, I thought about Michael. Michael was one of my high school players that I will likely remember for a long time, but for the wrong reasons. Michael had something every basketball coach wanted but could not teach; he had height. He was 6’6” as a sophomore and fairly athletic. His basketball skills were raw, but he could dunk… in practice… with no one guarding him… still, he was only a sophomore, and he had plenty of time to develop as a player.
I remember a coach familiar with the team telling me the first fall I became a part of the program that Michael had loads of potential, but the challenge would be getting him to be committed. I soon found out how true this statement was. See, Michael’s family was somewhat well-off, meaning they had resources that allowed for a lot of choices with free time… and with choices came distractions. He had ATV’s, they skied, I think they even had a boat, and the family had long weekend getaways frequently, so getting Michael to commit to open gym times during the offseason was met with many distractions.
Michael told me frequently during those couple seasons I was involved with him that he had goals involving basketball. He wanted to be very good, he wanted to be all-conference, he wanted to play at the next level… but this was usually said in the middle of the season. The reason I don’t remember hearing him talk about this in the off-season was because I rarely saw him or heard from him. He was either involved in other activities or he simply didn’t want to show up at the gym to work on developing his game.
Michael’s basketball career ended with a very unremarkable junior and senior year. He was a starter both years, played a lot of minutes in games, but he failed to become anything more than a taller than normal guy who opponents did not need to be concerned about when game planning for facing his team. His official basketball playing career ended after a game in late February of that senior year. No one came to scout him, no scholarships were offered, the horn sounded, there was 0:00 on the clock, and he walked off the court, into the locker-room, and out of his uniform.
“UNREMARKABLE”
This is not just Michael’s story, this is my story, possibly your story, but certainly this is a vein that runs through the stories of so many of us out there. It’s a story of living an unremarkable life.
Before I go any further, let me share a working definition with you. It’s a word we reserve for those who stand out from the norm… a very large “norm” that includes most of us.
EXTRAORDINARY: adjective; beyond what is ordinary or usual; highly unusual or exceptional or remarkable.
Based simply on the working definition above, I can make the argument that “ordinary” and “unremarkable” are words that could describe the majority of our lives… me included! To live an extraordinary life is highly unusual… it is beyond ordinary… it is exceptional… it is remarkable… and it is not something we see every day. Otherwise, it would be common.
For years, I enjoyed when the Olympics came around. My interest was not driven by the outcome of the events as much as by the opportunity to hear the stories of the various athletes. Each of them to some degree had to sacrifice the normal everyday choices that make up our lives in their pursuit of the extraordinary. They could not have both… they had to give up something for that pursuit.
I am not one for watching primetime TV, but I can get stuck watching the videos of performers on America’s Got Talent and The Voice. I wonder what the draw is for many of us. I can only speculate based on my own personal reasons, but I am fascinated by the courage a person possess to be vulnerable and put themselves out there in front of millions, knowing they could be rejected, but having the guts to develop the talent they have and take a chance… it’s inspiring to me.
It reminds me of a time I was in Nashville with my wife, and we went to a local place called the Listening Room Café to listen to local performers play their music. As I sat watching, I was so inspired by watching ordinary people like you and I doing the extraordinary… pursuing their dreams with no guarantee of success, no guarantee they would achieve the outcomes they chased.
As I think about that scene, it occurs to me that sacrifices needed to be made by each of them. I cannot begin to know the particulars around their stories, but they had to give up something in order to pursue the extraordinary in their lives. Looking back on that evening, I wonder if those performers would see those choices as “sacrifices”…
HERD MINDSET
It seems to me that it would be difficult to live an extraordinary life and remain close to the Herd. The Herd is where the usual… the ordinary… the unremarkable exists. The herd lifestyle is a common lifestyle… no one really takes notice of what you are accomplishing because what you are doing is not much different from what the masses around you are doing.
Most of us are writing our own version of a story that goes something like this: we do some post high school training, build a career, perhaps get involved in some activity along the way, take trips once in a while and put it on social media to remind ourselves and others of the great life we live, raise a family, buy a home, sell, buy a better home, drive a car, sell, drive a better car… build a retirement… and live for a hope that we can eventually “kill our number” and walk out of the prison known as our career once we retire.
Let’s be honest, we can be offended by the idea of being told we live with a herd mindset, and if you tell me I don’t know you, so I can’t say that about you… you are absolutely right. I do not know you. If you are one who truly lives a remarkable life, is in pursuit of the exceptional… the highly unusual, the extraordinary, then I would say you are in a very… very… VERY… small minority… and I hope to join you some day!
CLOSING
I’d tell you that I will write more in future posts around the herd mindset theme, but I can’t guarantee I will. I don’t have a lot of energy to put myself out there these days. Writing is a form of conversation with me. I don’t like to talk to hear myself talk. I love a good conversation, but I’m not necessarily certain people really want to hear what I have to say. So, I won’t guarantee a future post devoted more to the herd mindset even though the ideas around it consume me these days.
This may be a great spot for some to get off. If my thoughts cause offense, there may be more of that coming down the road. If it challenges you, even makes you a bit uncomfortable, causing thought about how you are currently navigating through this life, then you may want to stick around. If I do put my thoughts on paper, I promise some of you, it may get more uncomfortable… it is for me that’s for sure.
Just remember this as I end this post. I’m trying to figure it all out in my own life. I have more questions than answers, but I do have 60+ years of experiences that influence where I’m at in this moment, and some of the questions I have are due to my traveling a very conventional course filled with the promise of safety, security, and guarantees… and I’m wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
I sense that I may be the one who has sacrificed something to travel this route…