Started writing earlier this morning (going no specific direction initially) and the phrase which I chose to title this blog post came across my mind. I paused… I thought about this picture (above) which I have hanging on my office wall. It beckoned me to slow down and take the next right turn and go off the grid, far from any internet service or GPS to guide my way. Let’s see what’s down this road.
HORSEPOWER
Well, like the words in the picture above say, I’m a person who believes that destinations are overrated (unless I’m planning a trip to a Caribbean island somewhere). I’ve also become a person who believes horsepower is overrated.
My commute to work daily is a shade over 30 minutes. About half of the commute time is along a 4-lane state highway between the city I live in and the city I work in. I’ve become that driver that spends most of the time in the right lane traveling at the speed of the driver in front of me; I’m just not in a hurry to get to most places anymore… especially work. Sure, I’ll move over into the left lane to pass a slow-moving truck, but I’ve also learned that oftentimes, if I’ll just give that driver a moment to get their speed up, they’ll likely be driving faster than me quickly. Besides, by slowing down and moving with the person in front of me, my mind is allowed to relax and consider other, more important things. I’ve also found that quite often, when I come up on a red light, I’m not that far behind the speeding cars jumping from lane to lane trying to maneuver their way to a destination quicker.
What’s the point of more horsepower anyway? Although this post is not at all about engine power, I want to camp out here and use the metaphor to make a point. We rely on horsepower when we’re attempting to merge into the flow of traffic, right? We rely on horsepower to accelerate from a red light (hopefully after we have allowed it to turn green).
I guess my question is… what is our hurry?
ISLAND MINDSET
Recently, my wife and I spent our 30-year anniversary taking a trip to Curacao. Honestly, we’d never heard of the island before we started paying attention to a map and investigating the different islands in the Caribbean. The more we looked into Curacao, the more convinced we became it was to be our destination.
We spent 7 days there, doing island things like walking along the coastline, hanging out on the streets of Willemstad, eating iguana soup… you know, touristy things with an emphasis on getting away from the resort and absorbing the flavor of the culture as best we could in a short period of time. Curacao is far enough away from the influence of the States which I’ve learned to despise; it’s an autonomous country within the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Sure, there were the crazy drivers from time to time, some street people who wanted to give us a personal tour if it would get them a beer, but it didn’t have any of the feel of the fast-pace of the States. Even as we spent time along the streets of the Capital city, it had the feel of being incredibly laid back compared to what I’m used to. The Island people have some of the same basic needs as you and I… they need to make a living and pay for food and shelter, but it was such a different vibe, even different from our experiences in the past along the Riviera Maya south of Cancun. I mentioned our perspective of the slower pace down there to someone in a conversation and their response stuck with me. Americans (and by that I mean those living in the US) are always in such a hurry.
Like the hamster on the wheel, we’re running, running, running… but where are we going and why are we in a hurry to get there? This may sound morbid to some, but do you realize that from the moment we are born we begin the journey toward death? Are we really in a hurry to get there? Surely not because there’s a whole lot of living to be done in between the birth and death, events symbolized by a “dash”.
What? A dash?
- It’s that dash on a memorial, or a gravestone located between the DOB – DOD.
- It’s THE story of a person’s life…
- It’s the pages in-between the front cover and the back cover of a book.
- It’s all those little things that go unnoticed when we fail to slow down and pay attention to the moment we are in because we are in such a hurry to get to a future moment…
- And if you’ll allow me to suggest this… It’s the Mindset of the Bus…
IN PURSUIT OF THE SILENCE
I’m aware I’ve been in a place the past handful of months where the “silence” has been my pursuit. I’ve turned off the radio, turned off the TV… I need to do a better job of putting down my phone…, but I’ve found it so important to turn down the noise, the distractions, and just listen. My heart and my mind need to do a better job of listening to each other. There needs to be open lines of communication because the input both have to offer is important. If my mind dominates the conversation, I will be stuck living a practical, safe and secure life with little passion, but if my heart does all the talking… dear God I’d hate to see where that leads… probably selling all my possessions and heading out on an adventure with little thought for where I’m going to end up from day-to-day. The gypsy lifestyle sounds appealing until you come to those crossroads where you start saying more often than you care to admit… “Crap! I never planned for that!”
QUESTIONING THE SUMMIT
As I reflect and attempt to put some of the puzzle pieces together to form a picture of what’s taking place in my journey these past few months, I can see so much of where I am now coming out of that place I entered into at some point last fall. It began when I started questioning the Summits I pursued.
It’s important to look up and see where we are heading. It’s important for us to wrestle with and determine why we are climbing toward the Summit of the trails we are choosing to take. It’s important that we remain true to ourselves… true to our heart for why we are in pursuit of the Summits ahead of us.
I’m walking up the sidewalk toward retirement. I’m not yet on the front porch and I’m certainly not knocking on the door yet, but I’m at the point in my life now where I’m closer to 65 than I am to 60. I’ve learned that retirement is likely not for me because I must be doing something meaningful. I sit here on my back porch watching people tee off on the 4th hole at the golf course behind me and I think to myself, that life is just not for me. I like living in a place backing up to a golf course because there is this large crew of people who come in every morning and take care of “my backyard”, but I don’t possess a country club mindset. I’ve got to be involved with people, coaching, challenging, growing with them; climbing mountains… but it’s got to be the right mountains for me.
What I’m learning at this stage of life is that we only have so much time (and energy), and nothing should be taken for granted. We need to put the work in to determine what drives us toward the summits we are pursuing.
“Put the work in…” What the hell does that even mean?
It could seem like such an easy task to do… but what I’ve learned over the years as a probation officer is that so many of us carry baggage – sometimes not even realizing it’s there… influencing the steps of our journey. My most meaningful conversations have been with my people (my clients) who want to get real about the shit that’s impacted their lives and led to destructive patterns in decision-making. Take away the crime they’ve committed and I find myself having conversations with people on the same trail as me… broken, willing to take a step into authenticity and be honest about what they see in their lives.
We’re all a work-in-progress until the day we die, but some of us want to embrace the work. Some of us want to admit we’re broken and wandering out in the wilderness; some of us want to stop walking the trail we’re on and shout, “what the fuck am I pursuing here!”
CLOSING
I mentioned a reference of the picture I’m trying to see in my life being like a puzzle with the pieces all scattered and out of place. In my processing earlier this week I started naming some of those puzzle pieces.
- Compliance
- Herd Mentality
- Authenticity
- Broken
- Addiction
- A False Positive
- Swimming Upstream
I’ve written often on all these pieces, but they’ve never made it to my blog. Perhaps there will be some movement in the coming weeks as I wrestle to work through all this. But as I do, take a moment to scroll back up to that picture at the beginning of this post. That’s kind of where I am right now… driving down some road at the speed of “VW BUS”, not in a hurry, enjoying the journey, not too wrapped up in how far I am from the destination. The gift is in the journey… the destination represents that the journey is over, and that is something that would lead to sadness for me.
So if my writing, my thoughts, lead a reader to think I’m struggling with skeletons in my closet, struggling to find joy… please know I’m totally enjoying this road trip I’m on because the joy is absolutely in the journey for this guy.