WHERE ARE THE FLAGS

FOND MEMORIES

I couldn’t sleep last night… First pot of coffee started brewing just after 3:00a after I realized I wasn’t finding sleep. I did a lot of thinking… a little bit of journaling, and I came to this question: “So where are you at?” It was a vague question, but one that allowed me to go several different directions if I wanted. I stared at the words a while… and then all of a sudden, three hours later, I’m still staring at those words. Then, a random memory came across my radar. After awhile, I realized it wasn’t so random.

It was over 25 years ago…back in 1998-99, I spent a lot of weekends trail building with a van full of juvenile delinquents at Lory State Park outside of Fort Collins, CO. The task was to build what is now called the East and West Valley trails, mostly for mountain bikers to navigate into the southern portions of the park without having to take the main road. 

We worked closely with a Volunteer Coordinator who walked the foothills planting flags that marked where the trail was to be cut. Our job was to follow the flags, cut the surface layer of tall grasses and dirt, fill up wheel barrels with the grass and dirt mixture to remove from the area, and then groom the trail so water was allowed to run off, minimizing damage caused from erosion. 

In the early morning hours, I thought about those flags… then I thought about the Force… yes, the Star Wars “Force”. Funny where your mind can go during those hours…

LET THE FLAGS GUIDE YOU

I’m not a big Star Wars fan, but as I thought about that first question staring at me from the pages of my journal, my mind drifted to the “Force”. One of the characters from the movie series, Ganodi (I couldn’t tell you who she was or which movie she was in), said this: “I’m a Jedi. I’m one with the Force, and the Force will guide me.“ Why did I need to add that here… it’s about the flags… or in my case, the absence of the flags.

When we were out there cutting trail, we followed those flags planted in the long grass. We never lost our way, we never got off track, because we had those flags to guide us. 

Right now, I feel like I’m cutting trail and I’m looking for the flags that mark my way. I’m not seeing any… 

Where is that Volunteer Coordinator again? I don’t see any evidence he’s been out here planting flags to help me find my way. I’m slowly coming to the conclusion I’m on my own to figure this out because I don’t see signs many people have been out here. It’s not that my life is unique, but each of us have a journey that is unique, and because of that, we may cross paths with people along the way, but there comes that point in the journey, we part ways and head off on our own. 

It’s in these times, I think it’s so important to remember why we headed out on this journey in the first place. Questions and doubts can become loud and intrusive when things feel uncertain. There’s an awkwardness that comes with moving into unfamiliar territory… self-doubt looks for its opportunity to creep into the story. It reminds me of my coaching days when I’d be working with kids around improving fundamentals. Doing things the wrong way can become comfortable; learning to do them the right way can feel awkward in those early stages.

RUTS CAN BE COMFORTABLE

To be in a rut sounds negative doesn’t it? 

So why do we find ourselves in them? I tend to believe it’s in our nature to navigate toward what is familiar… what is comfortable, and we’ve heard the phrase “there’s safety in numbers” right? So if we see many going a certain direction, going about things a particular way, it must be safe… right? This is where I believe ruts get created; and the deeper the rut, the harder it is to get out of them.  

Who would happily say they are following the herd through this life? I’m not sure that thought would excite too many people, and yet maybe to some small degree, when we remain in those comfortable places, when we approach big decisions by safe and practical methods, maybe to some degree, this is what’s happening in our lives. Maybe to be uneasy, to feel discomfort, to be required to do things a different way, to think a different way, maybe to be in those places where we have to face questions and self-doubts… maybe this is exactly where we’re suppose to be if we want more from our lives. 

Maybe we shouldn’t wait around hoping a Search & Rescue Team is out here looking for us… because it would stand to reason that if they find us, they’ll convince us they’re here to help, and take us back to where the herd is located. Maybe we should trust the process… stay the course… embrace the discomfort, and keep moving forward.  

This post is all about reflections right now. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. I’m simply questioning where I’m at, and sharing these questions publicly. If you can relate to some part of this, then maybe it’s safe to say there are others out here. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable, but if comfort comes with the rut, I’m not interested.