My supervisor is a developing musician. We spend most of our time talking about how the brain is wired, how to make changes in our current life-patterns, and how to connect with our inner creative side. This certainly applies to our work with probation clients, but it becomes more meaningful when we apply it to our personal quests… he to write and produce music, and me to develop as a writer.
Earlier this week he came in and shared a personal goal he has for the month of November. It excited me. Doesn’t it just do something for you when you connect with motivated people who can help you in setting your own pace? Oftentimes, we simply need to know we’re not alone out here trying to figure it out… there are others fighting through the same struggle. If you’re one of them, keep pushing forward! I’m right out here with you.
As my supervisor and I talked, the conversation came around to the subject of writing for ourselves, performing for ourselves instead of trying to figure out what people want. To be influenced by the “LIKE” could somehow compromise the direction we feel driven and risk losing the energy that led us to this point. As he talked, the social media image at the top of this post came into mind and I had to make a note to remind myself to come back here.
Perhaps you’ve read yourself about the power of the “LIKE” response on all the various social media venues. It can be a trap to depend on people’s opinions in determining the value of what you have to offer. We put something out there and get no response… it can lead to the mind playing games with us. “Well, I suck! No one liked my post…” Sure, it’s always great to get encouraging feedback. Who doesn’t appreciate that, right? But if we begin to depend on the “LIKE” to determine the bottom-line value of what we have to offer… that sends up red flags to me.
I’ve heard of how the power of the “LIKE” can influence self-esteem in the teen population, creating a lot of damage along the way. But does it stop when we hit 20? What about 30? I can tell you that at 60 I’ve had questions at times as I embark on this second career of writing… (can I really call it a career when I’m making no money in it?) When we step into the creative, there is vulnerability. We are tapping into something uniquely “me”; uniquely “you”… and when we offer it up, we’re putting ourselves on the line.
The rational side of us knows that to depend on strangers to determine our value is absurd… and yet it has significant power over us if we allow it. If you’re reading this and considering some “crazy idea” of becoming a small business owner, taking your hobbies to another level… writing, music, some form of artistic expression… whatever it may be… I encourage you to figure out who you are, what makes your passion come alive, and put it out there… go for it! You may get “likes” and you may not, but don’t let it hold you back. Take a measure of comfort in knowing there are many of us out here trying to figure it all out. You… me… we’re not alone out here… regardless of all those times when we do feel alone.
Climb the mountain you want to climb… don’t allow the opinions of strangers… or in many cases, the non-response of strangers to influence which mountain you climb. If you do, you may find that once you reach the summit of that mountain, it was never one you wanted to climb in the first place.