GANNETT PEAK

We live in a culture that more and more seems to require immediate gratification… immediate results, in order to hold our attention.  If the reward doesn’t come quickly, we move on to other sources in search for that dopamine spike into our brain.  However, those truly significant dreams we hold deep within our heart are typically pursuits that require perseverance, conviction, mental fortitude (and no doubt other), characteristics perhaps not often seen within our microwave society, and yet admired when we do see them. 

Can I talk about moose for a moment?  This is not a “Squirrel! moment” here… there’s a point.

In the mid-1980’s, I was a 20-something kid working a warehouse job as I put myself through college.  I will always remember an older grumpy coworker talking in the break room one day about spotting a moose up northwest of Fort Collins in the Red Feather area.  My response was to make fun of him and laugh at his claims because there weren’t moose in Colorado… everybody knew that!  (Years later I learned the reintroduction of moose began in that very area of Colorado in 1978… but we didn’t have Google so that’s my defense.) 

I’d mock that old guy for seeing a large elk and mistaking it to be a moose… or for just making the story up to impress the other guys in the warehouse.  See, back in that day, we didn’t have cellphones to take pictures, so he had no visual proof to back his story, and I was going to take the opportunity to give this guy a hard time because he was always so good at dishing it out to us “young and dumb” college-kids. 

Then, in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, I had a friend who spent a lot of time in the Medicine Bow area of southern Wyoming bordering on Colorado.  He would take us on drives through the national forest roads looking for moose and occasionally we would see one.  When we did, we would watch it in amazement because… well, first of all they’re an amazing animal… but they were not spotted often, and to see one felt like some sort of gift was just given to us.

I share the moose-story because it was an experience that illustrates the point I’m wanting to make now.  I think we now live in a culture where seeing those qualities I mentioned earlier…perseverance, conviction, mental fortitude, etc., seem to bring about the same sort of response as spotting that moose out in the wilderness.  These traits are not often spotted, and when seen, they leave an impact on our emotions.  We’re somehow more inspired, somehow touched with admiration… possibly seasoned with a bit of envy, perhaps wanting more of that in our own lives.  I believe these are the characteristics we often see when the TV network profiles an athlete’s story in an event like the Olympics.  They feature stories with characters demonstrating inspiring characteristics we simply don’t see in everyday life. 

I say all that because this morning, while drinking coffee on my front porch, I had very little on my mind to write about… so I put the pen down and just sat enjoying a cool and quiet morning sunrise… until Gannet Peak came into my mind.

GANNETT PEAK

Gannett Peak is the highest mountain in Wyoming, located within the Wind River Range; it stands at 13,810ft elevation.  Now, before I go any further, I’ve never been on the trail to this peak, and I have no interest in doing so.  Why?  It’s a 53 mile out-and-back hike (yeah, I said hike…as in walking, not driving) into deep wilderness with an elevation gain of over 11,000 feet.  However, that’s not the first reason I think of for not being interested in this peak.  It’s the relative proximity to Yellowstone National Park that first comes to mind in my long list of reasons for not being interested in this hike.  See, I kind of get this idea Grizzly Bears don’t pay attention to park boundaries, and that area is such untamed wilderness that my mind tells me there are probably bears out there.  I’m aware there is adventure… and then there is ADVENTURE, and I’m more interested in the version where you avoid crossing paths with a grizzly. 

However, the reason Gannett Peak came to mind is because of the commitment required for the process.  I always thought the trek to Longs Peak was demanding at about 14 miles out and back, but it pales in comparison to the 5 or 6-day commitment required for hiking Gannett Peak. 

So why am I talking about a hike I will never take?

HOBBY OR LIFESTYLE

My days as a probation officer have been challenging in recent times.  I have my successes in the job, but so often I come home either worn down with little to offer relationally, or completely angry with law-enforcement and a broken legal system that can makes it very difficult for a person to get out… all in the name of “justice”.   I will avoid going further down this path, but because of the inner conflict I have being a part of this system, I find myself drifting off into fantasy land thinking about going a different direction in my career. 

I find such joy in my clients who experience the lightbulb going on, and in fact, this blog is sprinkled with stories of some of those client’s victories.  But it seems like the losses are accumulating more than the wins, and I really find no joy at all when my clients lose.  Like with any coach, when your players lose, you lose. 

Writing has been my outlet.  It has been something I’ve wanted to do dating back to the early 1990’s, but for a laundry list of excuses, here I am in the 2020’s and I’m still working that safe and secure state job and dreaming about writing.  Don’t get me wrong, I do see the steps I’ve taken, very small steps, but steps, nonetheless.   The blog has grown… I’m now working with a techie person to develop a website and a WordPress.org blog associated with the book I want to write… there is movement.  But the question faced me this morning as I sat quietly drinking coffee in my favorite place, my front porch on a quiet Saturday morning… 

“Is writing going to be a hobby or it is going to be your career?”

I share this with you because some may be able to relate to this dilemma I’m wrestling with.  Like myself, you may be in a career that meets your needs financially; good pay, good benefits, flexibility with time off… and yet, something at your core is crying out for more.  Something is missing… perhaps like me, you find yourself unhappily going through the motions…feeling very little passion and purpose about what you are doing.   

So, what’s this got to do with Gannett Peak?

BACK TO GANNETT

Gannett came up when I was thinking about the commitment required if my desire to write is to move beyond a simple hobby and become a lifestyle.  Like the trip to Gannett’s peak, at some point in time, it’s got to move from a “fun thought” to a lot of hard work… perseverance… commitment… determination… mental fortitude…  At some point in time, a decision must be made that involves a shift in identity.  I must transition from being a guy who likes to write (something I do), to the place where I say… I am a writer (it becomes who I am).

IDENTITY-BEHAVIOR; BEHAVIOR-IDENTITY

As I typed that last line, I was reminded about the words of James Clear in his book “Atomic Habits”.   In chapter two of his book, Clear spends time talking about how behavior shapes identity and identity shapes behavior.  Our day-to-day decisions go a long way in revealing what we really think about who we are, and like it or not, actions often do speak louder than words. 

It’s easy to quit… so often most of us do.  You start a new year’s resolution and by the first weekend, you’ve already quit on yourself.  Even those who eventually found victory probably had their fair share of losses before they simply got tired of losing and did something different to win.  

This is where I am at.   I’m tired of complaining about my circumstances at Probation… I’m tired of talking about my dream of writing… I’m tired of settling for less… I’m tired of quitting by the first weekend after New Year’s…

NEVER PROMISED YOU ANSWERS…ONLY MORE QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

For those readers new to my blog, welcome… and a quick reminder to those who have hung around for a while.  Why the hell you’re still here… I haven’t a clue but thank you for putting up with me.

Climbing Mountains is my personal struggle.  If you can relate to my stories… my battles, well then, excellent!  That means I have a hiking buddy.  Climbing Mountains is my own inner wrestlings being acted out on this blog with the dream of getting to the Summit of my own mountain.  At the top, I hope to find the achievement of long-held dreams (goals) I’ve carried in my backpack for years.  This blog is not written by some dude who knows the way and has 5 tips to help you get there yourself… I’ve figured nothing out, and in fact… I’ve lost my GPS on several occasions.  Hell… there are days where I’m wandering off course and wonder how I wasn’t paying attention to when I walked off the trail. 

But this morning, the thoughts of Gannett Peak reminded me that those Summits that really matter are likely to require a very special commitment level… one many of us may not have seen within ourselves before. 

• To the person who has lived with obesity for many years… (I did, so I’m not throwing stones), the commitment level to steer clear of the sweet breads in the office… to rewire our minds to what an appropriate portion of food looks like… to understand what true hunger feels like… it’s a long-term fight.  There is no shortcut to lasting victory on the way to this Summit.  I’m not there yet myself… but I’ve progressed far enough up this mountain that I can honestly say the view is amazing!
• To the person who has struggled with believing they are worthy of the big dreams they harbor within themselves… (Damn!  This is me too!)  The fight to overcome patterns of thinking regarding our identity can be so difficult.  I used to be embarrassed to share that I wanted to write. Maybe it started with damning words of some influential adult… a teacher, a parent, a coach… However it started, these lies have a way of blending in to our normal thoughts, and we can have little awareness that our everyday thoughts may be birthed out of a lie we embraced as truth somewhere way back in our early years.  We must root them out because they will only hinder our progress!
• Maybe we’re just scared to take a risk so we stay paralyzed in a world where change is feared at all cost.  We stay stuck in a place where we require predictability and practicality…

My life has been about helping others get to a better place in their lives.  Whether it be as a probation officer, or as a basketball coach, I’ve always coached to win…and like I said earlier, if my players don’t win, I certainly don’t win. 

Well, now I’m trying to get to a better place, and this blog is my way of stirring the pot and challenging others to examine what they have embraced… to decide if they are on their way toward their best life, or have they settled for less… like I did for so many years.

This blog may be the outward expression of the climb up my personal mountain, but my work with people over the past 30 years has taught me this: there are so many of us who have shelved our dreams in order to fall in line with some accepted version of how success is defined. 

WARNING: RANT COMING!

We’re indoctrinated early. From our earliest years, playful imagination is tolerated. But at some point a shift takes place and the pressure is on for us to become practical and logical… and put those silly dreams of being an astronaut on the shelf.

• We go into debt getting our degrees because that’s the path our parents and school guidance counselors told us to take…
• Then we find jobs that allow us to pay back that debt…
• We see our peers buying homes so not only do we need to buy a home, but we need to buy “that kind of home” in “that kind of neighborhood”, so we are in debt to a mortgage now…
• Now I need to work for a promotion in this job that I don’t find fulfilling so I can make more money for all those things and experiences that help me forget about how much I hate my job…

Care to try on the golden bracelets?

They’re handcuffs!

Oh no, they're the latest design in jewelry. They're golden bracelets.

No they aren't!  They're handcuffs!

Just try them on...you'll love them...

I know… I’ll admit it… my perspective is pathetic…

ADDICTION HAS TAUGHT ME A THING OR TWO

My perspective may be skewed, I won’t argue with a person on this.  But right or wrong, working with addicts has taught me some valuable things.  First and foremost, I began to see where my path and the addicts path travelled too close for my comfort level… we had way too many things in common.  Then I realized I was an addict too. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that many of us act out in efforts to mask unhappiness.  Some turn to the bottle, the pipe, or the needle… some turn to the fridge, the TV, to social media, the gym, the credit card, or many other vices.  There are a lot of ways to be addicted, and many of them are not illegal…but they are an addiction to something to fill a void, nonetheless. 

Some may find offense here… Sorry.  Please, go about your life and those of us who are not satisfied with the path we’ve been traveling will continue pushing forward up this trail.  I see where the path of the herd eventually leads, and I say, “No thank you!” 

CLOSING

To those who continue to read this, I find no real excitement in the work that is going to be required of us who choose to travel this long journey up “Gannett Peak”.  They say it’s breath-taking, they say they have no regrets now that they’re home and in the comfort of their own homes… but I suspect there will be some intense challenges out ahead of us as our perseverance, our commitment , and our mental fortitude are tested to see if they are legit. 

As I type this, it all feels so overly dramatic.  But if I don’t die trying for the peak, I will die in a 10 X 12 air-conditioned office with a great salary and great benefits… and no real passion for life. That feels unacceptable to me.

See you at the Summit?