The IN-BETWEEN

(The IN-BETWEEN along the Glacier Gorge Trail…long before Sky Pond or Frozen Lake and the Spearhead come into view.)

There’s a mysterious place along the trail between the Trailhead and the Summit called the “IN-BETWEEN”; a place along the way we never know we’ve come to until we realize our thoughts have begun to turn against us. It’s that place on the journey where we become aware of the conflict building within; it’s in a place where the summit becomes a blurry version of something we thought we saw so clearly setting out on our journey. It lies somewhere up the trail, long after the enthusiasm of the Trailhead has evaporated in the noonday heat, and well before glimpses of the Summit come into view. It’s a place where we wrestle with our initial ambitions to get to the top; where we begin considering the option of turning around; where we begin to negotiate a surrender and settling for less than we initially intended. It’s the place where we begin to question our skill set, our preparation…our convictions…our will to continue.

It’s a place we arrive at between Trailhead and Summit; between dream and reality; between birth and death; well after we packed our dreams and took off on the journey, but long before we cleared treeline and caught glimpses of the Summit.

It’s a place we settled for along the journey; a place where the nagging injuries of life start taking a toll on us; a place where we slowly settle for the mantra of “Good Enough” to hide the disappointment of turning back from our pursuit of the Summit…a place where we embrace more responsible or practical thinking.

…it’s the place where many turn back…but some press on. 

A PLACE OF WARFARE

It would be good to be prepared for the mental assault that comes in the IN-BETWEEN because there’s no shortcut that allows us to avoid it. The IN-BETWEEN is looming in front of us…somewhere out ahead…waiting to encounter us…. Its prepared to test the character of every person in pursuit of the Summit. It’s a place where passion and purpose fade unnoticed until at some point, we feel their absence; it’s a place littered with many abandoned dreams, left behind by those who turned back.

The IN-BETWEEN is a place we’ll face great challenges, the higher the mountain, the greater the challenge.   We must not be caught unprepared for this resistance that is sure to come at us along the way.

WHERE GREAT BATTLES ARE WON

The IN-BETWEEN is a part of every great journey, it’s a place where enormous growth can take place, where great victories are won.  Our task is to hold the course, maintain our convictions and continue to place one foot in front of the other.  The IN-BETWEEN is a place where we must remind ourselves why we took the journey in the first place.  We must carry close to our heart the image of the summits we are in pursuit of because there will be times we question why we continue forward. 

We will forever be changed by the battles we fight in the IN-BETWEEN, regardless of whether we win or lose…we will be changed.  We will either become stronger as we continue climbing, or we will slowly become a shell of the person we dreamed of becoming as we retreat back down the mountain…either way, we will be changed by our experience.

REFLECTING ALONG MY WAY

I write this as I stand somewhere in the IN-BETWEEN, pausing along the way to look back down the trail where I’ve come from, but also looking upward into the dense trees ahead of me…knowing there is a Summit out there somewhere that I’m in pursuit of.

It’s been almost 6 weeks since I posted a story on here. I’ve had moments of wavering on my convictions for getting to the summit, but I’m thankful I’ve continued to put one foot in front of the other. I won’t lie…there were days where the steps I took seemed pretty insignificant, but again, I’m thankful for every step forward regardless of how small some appeared.

I’ve struggled with bringing energy into my probation appointments and this has probably been the biggest energy-stealer for me. Sharing the trail with people stuck in their addiction and feeling such hopelessness can leave little in the tank by the time I get home at night. This reminds me of the importance for taking care of ourselves along this journey. We must look for those opportunities to fill our cup…and stay “hydrated” along the way. As we travel upward, we will pass many who have gone before us and turned around at some point. It can play tricks on the mind seeing so many traveling the opposite direction…it could be so easy to give in and just go with the flow but we must keep climbing upward.

THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS

Several times in the past month or so I’ve been bothered by my lack of forward progress in writing.  I’ve had many mornings since some point in Mid-March where the blank pages of my journal stared back at me as one cup of coffee led to a second and then a third. But then I’ve been reminded of those times long ago when I would go out for long runs with my college roommates.  We would talk and laugh a lot at the beginning, but then there came a point on the run when the talk stopped and all you could hear was the rhythmic breathing and the sound of the sneakers hitting the pavement.

This pattern repeated itself several years ago when a buddy and I hiked the Longs Peak trail.  We were very talkative at the trailhead and shared much enthusiasm for our adventure, but as we trekked upward, there came a point the talking stopped and our focus was on breathing and simply taking the next step. 

It brings me to one final point about the IN-BETWEEN.  The IN-BETWEEN is often a place of silence, a place where we’re alone, wrestling with our thoughts.  It’s a mental battle for sure…and our opponent is our self.

CLOSING

I’ll wrap this up here, but to those of you out here in the IN-BETWEEN with me, remember why you started this journey in the first place…hold the vision near to your heart, and don’t waver.  Keep stepping forward.  If you need to stop for a bit, do so.  REST, RECOOPERATE, REVIVE…but then REMEMBER.  As you remember, grab your gear, and keep moving forward. 

We’ll take selfies at the Summit!