FEBRUARY 2023
As I make the transition from WordPress.com to WordPress.org, I’m going back and reviewing older posts. This one was easy to pick because I recently heard from Jim again. I’ve consolidated three posts into one here. I hope you enjoy Jim’s story…it’s an amazing story of victory in the making.
JANUARY 2015
Earlier that morning Jim called his probation officer requesting help. He needed his P.O. to come to the house and pour out the remaining vodka because if she didn’t, he would keep drinking.
When she arrived, she had Jim do a breathalyzer and Jim blew a .267. She was surprised he was still standing at that point…and if not for the walls in the apartment, he probably wouldn’t have remained standing. Jim was not interested in going to Detox, so she poured out the vodka and returned to the office to brainstorm on next steps.
Later that morning I needed assistance on a home visit with a client of mine in the Hells Angels. We get along well, but I needed to talk with him about a recent positive UA. I typically go on home visits alone, but due to the nature of the conversation we were to have, I felt it best to have someone with me in case the confrontation got squirrely.
My coworker agreed to go but asked that we return to Jim’s house on the way back to the office. Apparently, Jim called after she left his place the first time and was now ready to go to Detox. It was also learned Jim had another bottle of vodka stashed somewhere and he continued drinking.
We stopped by Jim’s house and the front door was open. There was no sound coming from inside, so we walked around the back. Jim lives in a very small one-bedroom apartment within a 4-plex so we attempted to make visual contact through the back bedroom window. He could not be seen so we left assuming he may have gone after more liquor.
Several phone calls were made with people who knew Jim and after about 30 minutes we learned he’d been laying on the bathroom floor when we were there earlier. He could hear us, but he was not responding. We were told that Jim would be looking for us when we came by again.
After meeting with my guy, we headed back to Jim’s house. As we walked up the sidewalk, I could see the silhouette of the man at what appeared like the back of the apartment. We got to the front door and my partner went in first.
To say Jim was staggering would be an understatement because he leaned to his right severely as he moved, pausing to get some sense of balance, then moving again. I saw a head-injury ready to happen if we didn’t get this guy off his feet quickly, so we moved in assuring him we just wanted to help him get to the couch in the front room.
Several times it appeared he may lose his stomach contents so we grabbed a trash can while my partner called the police. To get Jim to Detox, he would have to be medically cleared by the hospital first.
Before today, I had no contact with Jim and knew nothing about him. As my partner spoke with dispatch, I kept an eye on him and allowed my eyes to wander around looking at his simple apartment. Very few decorations filled his apartment so seeing a lone small picture hanging from the wall led me to believe there might be some significance to it.
I walked over to get a better look and saw 4 soldiers standing around an American flag. I asked Jim if he was in this picture, and he mumbled yes. I asked where the picture was taken, and he said “Iraq”. I looked back at Jim as he stared at the trash can between his legs, and gauging from his appearance he must be in his mid-40’s so I asked if he was in the first Desert Storm. This time he only nodded his head “yes.” He must have felt like he was playing “40 Questions with a P.O”, and he did not seem to be having any fun.
Jim then said he needed to go back to the bathroom, so we guided him in that direction. Once he got back there the door went shut. By the sounds coming from the bathroom my partner determined to call dispatch back and get paramedics. No police officer was going to transport a man vomiting in his back seat.
We got Jim settled again on the front couch and it was apparent he was in very bad shape. My heart went out to him as I saw a broken man sitting there defeated by alcoholism.
Police showed up first and the officer came to the front door, looked in at the three of us, then turned his back and stood on the front porch awaiting paramedics. The officer made no attempt to speak with Jim and demonstrated body language that appeared to be disengaged and emotionally removed from the situation. I don’t fault the officer in the least here. I have no idea if he was at the end of a very difficult shift with little more to offer on this day, or perhaps this wasn’t his first visit to Jim’s house. .
Jim groaned and threw his head back staring at the ceiling. My partner attempted to encourage him by saying he made a good choice to ask for the help. She told him he would get through this, and we would get him the help he needed.
I watched… I listened… I just couldn’t stop thinking about that picture on the wall… the picture of that soldier…
I looked at Jim sitting there on the couch…broken. I looked at that picture of a soldier hanging on the wall… Well? Who is this man? Is he the drunk sitting on the couch in front of me, or is he that soldier hanging on the wall?
SOMETHING HAPPENED IN THAT LIVING ROOM
I’ll pause for a moment. I’m not a religious man, but I am a spiritual man. I’m not into church, but I do want to follow Christ. For those who share different views, I wish I could separate the story from my faith…but it’s a part of who I am, so I can’t. It’s okay if we have differing views, that’s not really the point here. The point is something very unusual happened in the next few minutes of my encounter with Jim. It was not at all normal.
Back to the living room…
I found myself becoming emotional as I stood there in that living room. Not here Lord! Not now! Don’t make me cry for this man right here in front of my partner, this disengaged police officer, and the paramedics rolling up right now…
This man is not a drunk…he’s a soldier! That is who he is!
I found myself in a situation where I was being allowed to see what God saw when he looked at this man. This was a man Jesus had in mind when He made the decision to leave his throne and come to earth as a man… He came for the sick…He came for the broken… He came for Jim… He came for me…
I was in a critical moment standing there in Jim’s living room. the paramedics had arrived…the equipment was being set up out on the front sidewalk…I had to act if I wanted to declare to Jim what I saw. My mouth opened and the words came out with authority… “Jim! You are a soldier! That is who you are. You are a man of war, and this enemy of alcoholism will be defeated if you choose to be that soldier.”
That was it…nothing more needed to be said. Paramedics came in and assisted Jim to his feet. As they guided him toward the front door and out to the gurney Jim stopped. He made a half turn to his left toward me, extended his hand to shake mine, and said “Gordon, thank you.”
MARCH 2016 – 14 months later
I met the soldier for coffee a little over a week ago, his eyes clear, his enthusiasm about life reignited. It was Day 176 in his fight for sobriety, and the drunk was nowhere to be found. Sitting across the table from me was a guy with a new lease on life…and he wants everyone to know about it.
He has a long way to go…and as any person fighting addiction will attest, it’s a battle that takes place one day at a time with no weekends off. What I witnessed put a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. I realized through our conversation that this is a man who once had a strong faith in God…and for a long time, our enemy stole that faith and crippled this man one body blow after another. As he gets up off the mat, he still must secure steady employment, and he has a long way to go to get himself back into his 10-year-old son’s life again…but he’s now on his feet…and he isn’t staggering any longer!
It was so real and genuine watching him go from sharing the joy of what God has done for him, to dropping “F-bombs” as he expressed the frustration with his ex-wife over supervised visitation with his son…and then back again to praising God for all God’s grace and mercy…and I got this feeling God was cool with it all… it was authentic.
My friend’s fight for sobriety is far from over, but how sweet the taste of victory is along the way.
JUNE 2016 – Day 279
I was down the hallway at the security gate briefly engaging in some small talk with the guard about the weather and other things when I saw someone approaching. It was the soldier. He was walking toward me with a smile on his face. We shook hands and I learned he was still doing well. Today was day 279 of his journey toward sobriety. That was great to hear, but today was also the first day in 5 years he would have a chance to see his boy. He was here to take a quick UA and then would be heading to Fort Collins to a facility where supervised visits take place between children and their parents. Jim was never abusive, but because of all the battles with alcoholism he was previously defeated in over the past few years, this was the path he had to take to get back into his boy’s life. Jim was excited, he was nervous…he was thankful.
I have come to know Jim has a lot of anger toward his ex-wife, so we briefly talked about not allowing that anger to destroy this current opportunity. Jim’s head was in the right place, but as a coach, there is always a benefit to calling a time out in strategic moments to make sure the plan is solid, and heads are in the right place to execute properly.
NEXT DAY – Day 280
I got a text from Jim informing me he got off work early today so he had several hours before another commitment. He asked if I had time to meet for a quick cup of coffee. As I walked into the coffeeshop I saw the smile. “Okay…that’s good…he’s smiling.” We greeted and gave our orders at the counter. “Well?”, I asked. Jim responded that it was awesome. He talked about how he was coached by the therapist not to force a hug or other physical contact with his son due to potential awkwardness, so Jim was just standing there when the boy walked in the room. Jim said his boy came right up to him and gave him a big bear-hug. His eyes were moist as he relived the fresh memory.
Jim went on to describe the visit and how they played games and began the journey of reclaiming their relationship. They will be meeting weekly and taking small steps toward the goal of rebuilding the father/son relationship.
As we began winding down on our time together, the Soldier talked about the fight ahead of him, and the appreciation for having the Lord walking ahead of him in every step. We talked with such appreciation for God’s redeeming ways, and how things we’ve lost have a way of being given back to us by the Lord. The journey has been dominated with bitterness…but it has taken a turn toward sweet. The things Jim is learning about his God through this war are going to be things he will lean on in future battles.
It’s times like this that we can think of how we would love to have a mulligan in life and do something over…and yet, in that same moment, because of what we’ve learned through the hard times, we can say we’d never change a thing. Such a complicated thought.
Jim is struggling about missing out on his boy’s life from age 5 until 10…but he’s also believing that somehow…some way, the lost time will be redeemed.
As I wrap us this latest chapter, its sobering to me right now to reflect on that first day I met Jim, way back there on that day when the walls held him up in his apartment…back on that day the police officer stuck his head in the apartment only for the briefest of moments to see another drunk needing an intervention. I could have been just like that police officer on that day…if not for that picture on the wall…and the subsequent question that followed inside my head. “Well, who is this man…the drunk on the couch, or the soldier in the picture?” It’s become clear who this man really is.
FEBRUARY 2023
I spoke with Jim recently by phone. He’s started his own business and continues forward on the path of sobriety. I smile every time I see pictures posted to his social media of outings with his son, mostly hiking up in the hills. He certainly has climbed a couple significant mountains, and the views from the top have been beautiful.
The boy has his father back; the father has his boy back.
I will carry the encounter with this soldier the rest of my life, and each time I journey back and reflect, the memories of that first day are so clear. People have tremendous value, even when they’ve lost their way. Sometimes we must look hard because it may be that the evidence of the value is like a tiny picture hanging in a random spot on a wall; if we’re not looking for it, we’ll never see it.
To the Change Agents out there, keep investing in people, it’s the one thing that will constantly bring an amazing return in your life.