Note: I started out intending to write a post titled “Don’t Follow Me”. However, as the thoughts developed, focus turned toward my experience hiking to my favorite spot in Rocky Mountain National Park…Mills Lake.
I’m going to go ahead and move this direction with the post believing it was to evolve this direction. Hiking has always held metaphors for life with me so perhaps there is something meaningful for you as a reader. Going back to reflect on the details of this hike have been therapeutic. Like any recovering addict, I’ve had some battles for several months, but revisiting memories from this hike have stirred something I haven’t felt in a while…passion in my heart.
I suspect I’ll be writing the post “Don’t Follow Me” sometime soon, but for now, join me on the hike up to Mills Lake if you’d like. We’ll see if we discover anything of value along the way.
AT THE TRAILHEAD
In mid-September, my daughter and I hiked a 4-lake loop trail in Rocky Mountain National Park hitting several beautiful lakes off a popular trailhead at the Bear Lake parking lot. The last lake we came to was Mills Lake, a good size lake sitting right at 10,000 feet elevation fed by waters coming down Glacier Creek from a range of mountains that create a bowl-shaped area and hold several smaller lakes.
After arriving at Mills Lake and beginning the process of downloading everything I could from this beautiful place, my daughter dropped her pack and went in search of photo opportunities around the lake. I found a comfortable rock and sat enjoying the heat of the high-altitude sun and listening to sounds of the gentle breeze in the pines while a magpie squawked about something in the distance. I sat mesmerized by the west face of Longs Peak (far left in top picture), a place I have dreamed of returning to someday. Longs Peak is the most prominent peak along the Front Range to the north of Denver and can easily be seen from the Wyoming border. Something always seems to speak to me from that mountain top and here I was so close to it on this day.
My heart was full as I shared this experience with my daughter, and it was an opportunity to hear my heart cry. It wasn’t a sad cry by any means, it had been a bit over 2 months since my heart attack in early July, and I’ve had days over this past year when I was fearful that I would never again return to the trails of the back country. Viewing these mountains from a car window is great until you’ve gotten out on a trail away from the crowds. Then, there is nothing that can compare with being out here. Bottom line, to say I was grateful on that morning for the experience I was in would be a gross understatement.
CLIMBING MOUNTAINS IS A METAPHOR; CLIMBING MOUNTAINS IS A PASSION
“Climbing mountains” has always been a metaphor to me for overcoming obstacles in life, but the name of my blog is a collision between metaphors and passion. Over the past few years, I have experienced very significant victories in weight loss, and it’s rekindled a passion for hiking, something I did often in the 1980’s and 1990’s before I had to give it up due to obesity (Ouch! That always hurts to say that damn word…)
As I sat on that rock overlooking Mills Lake, I pulled out my phone to record some thoughts. See, we were 6 miles into a hike with some decent elevation gains and drops, and we still had about 3 miles remaining once we began the trek back to the trailhead. My 60-year-old body had been through the longest hike yet since the heart attack, and I was experiencing a wide variety of emotions.
- I felt joy at hitting Emerald Lake with my daughter just after sunrise, sitting on a large rock watching the sunrise hit Hallett Peak (Pictured below).
- I felt the challenges of navigating huge boulders with uncertainty, wondering if my knees could handle the ups and downs of getting to Lake Haiyaha to catch a great view of the seafoam color of the water caused by a June rockslide. (Yeah…the color in that picture below is real!)
- I felt exhaustion as the trail dropped with 25–30-degree grades in places over 1.9 miles heading toward the Glacier Gorge trail and Mills Junction;
- I felt uncertainty about whether I had it in me to once again climb the required elevation to get to Mills Lake once I did hit Mills Junction.
- And now, here I was sitting at the Mills Lake shoreline feeling grateful.
Life is filled with emotions similar to what I experienced earlier that morning. As I looked back over the notes I recorded that day along the shoreline, what stood out first was my questioning what I was doing at 4:00am when the alarm went off; I just wanted to stay in bed. When the alarm went off, whatever motivation I had for this adventure in the previous days leading up to this was long gone. I remember pausing after recording that thought from about 7 hours earlier that morning…now looking out over Mills Lake; I smiled because it was all so worth it.
Just throwing this out there for you to consider: How often do we have great ideas regarding something significant we desire to pursue, but when the time comes to take the required steps, those steps somehow seem to be incredibly inconvenient…or maybe impossible? I could have rolled over in those early morning hours and shut my eyes…but then today I’m relatively certain I wouldn’t be writing about some memory of spending that Saturday three months ago doing yard work or drinking coffee at the local coffeeshop because I chose to sleep in rather than get up and take off for the mountains.
Yeah…I’m glad my alarm went off that morning…
…and I’m glad I got up.
DECISION AT MILLS JUNCTION
That sounds like an episode of Yellowstone doesn’t it? Maybe Beth Dutton went off on somebody or Jamie screwed something up… Okay, if you don’t watch the TV series Yellowstone, I just lost you. Sorry, back on course here.
Mills Junction was at the base of the section of this trail loop from Lake Haiyaha that dropped consistently in elevation for 1.9 miles. We were over 5 miles into this hike and both my daughter and I were exhausted. I was thankful to hit that junction because I knew exactly where the trailhead was from that point, but I also knew we had to turn and start climbing to get to Mills Lake. We were both hungry and seriously considered eating our lunch right there, but I knew if I sat down for any length of time, I would stiffen up badly, and thoughts of getting up and making the climb to Mills Lake would be much more challenging. We decided to suck it up and head up the trail toward the lake.
Once we got to the point where the trail leveled out, I knew the hard part was behind us, I knew we were within moments of seeing Mills Lake. We found a rock off the trail and ate lunch, both of us thankful for the scenery we were experiencing, and thankful for the greatest peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the world! On a deeper level, we were thankful we didn’t stop because the chances were great that we would have talked ourselves into being satisfied with what we accomplished and headed back toward the trailhead, missing the best part of this entire day.
PURSUING PASSION OF THE HEART IS LIKE CLIMBING MOUNTAINS
We all want good things for our lives…thinking about it is the easy part. Several of my probation clients come to mind here. They also want good things, they want to be sober, they want better jobs, they want a better renting situation, or to be homeowners. But like me at times, they shut the alarm off and roll over, and instead of getting up, they say “Tomorrow! I’ll start tomorrow!” In the most important moment of the decision to make changes, there stands an excuse not to act.
Man…too familiar…
Revisiting this experience at Mills Lake reminds me of the metaphors that spoke so powerfully to me that morning. “Get up! It’s so worth it…but you must get up first!”
There were blessings along the way and there were significant challenges at times, but those challenges were so quickly forgotten as I sat along that lake soaking in the beauty and being so appreciative of this experience once again. All the challenges were worth it…in the end, but in the midst of the journey, there was one hell of a mental fight going on inside of me.
A question comes across my mind: can anything that does not require a heavy price really stir the heart? I’m asking here… there may be examples someone can give me. But rarely does anything offered “FREE” or at discount ever have significant value unless the one possessing it is simply unaware of its value.
I said earlier that revisiting this hike was therapeutic. I won’t get into the details of why for the sake of time, but I’ve been through a hell of a fight going back to mid-October. I see the steps I need to take…the trail that needs to be climbed…and thinking about the reward I experienced on that day reminds me the prize at the end of this fight is so worth it.
My GPS has been off… I wandered off course a few months ago. Time to get my bearings and get back on the trail.
I’m sorry…did I say I’ve mastered anything in this life? If I’ve led someone to believe I have my shit together, I do apologize…I’m a work in progress here.