If you’ve read my previous posts, you’ll know I returned to a job I left several years earlier as a probation officer. This is a story motivated by one young man who grabbed my heart very quickly.
It was day 3 of my return to probation and as I eased back into my groove in doing the work, one of my first appointments called from the lobby to inform me he was here. I hadn’t met him yet but a quick glance at the paperwork told me he was a kid (30-something) who’d had his ass kicked by addiction over his short years of life.
As I called his name in the lobby, a guy decked out in baggy sweats and a Chicago Bulls hoody and hat stood and walked toward me without making eye contact. He quietly walked ahead of me toward my office saying little, but what was said was with a very soft (perhaps weak) voice.
We sat down and I noted he continued to have difficulty looking me in the eye, even as I asked him to tell me a bit about his story. He began by identifying a need for finding a job because he still depended on his adopted parents to assist him in paying rent monthly. I could see his situation was fragile as he was one step from being homeless. As he went deeper into detail about his rental situation, I gently interrupted him and asked if there was anything more significant that needed to be overcome for him to become successful. After a moment of silence, with that same soft voice I’d heard from the beginning, words began to stumble out of his mouth eluding to a need to establish a sober lifestyle. There ya go! Now we’re locked in on the issue.
I listened to his words, but I was struck by his body language. His head hung low, his shoulders slouched, he continued to avoid eye contact, and his voice was soft…seasoned with hopelessness. As the words stumbled out of his mouth, I could feel the shame, the defeat, the self-loathing…and, although I’m not sure I can adequately explain it, my heart was stirred. He was no longer just a name on my caseload, he became a person branded on my heart.
WHO I SEE IS NOT WHO HE IS
As I sat there in those moments of our first encounter, I began seeing glimpses of a completely different person sitting across from me. I’m not trying to get mystical here or be overly dramatic for the sake of writing a story, but in my heart, I truly began seeing someone different through the eyes of compassion that was not present prior to the appointment. Sure, in the physical realm, I saw a broken person sitting across from me, but I knew what was happening within me was spiritual, so that was where we were going in that appointment.
TRUE IDENTITY
Something welled up inside me, and I began to call out in this young man, what I was seeing beyond the brokenness. I saw a man loved severely by the Father, I saw a man set free by the Son, by my Savior, a man who in this moment was unable to see the prison door had been opened, and yet…the door had been opened wide. I saw strength within him to overcome the demons of addiction, I saw a young man blossoming into his true identity, a glorious identity of one set free from the bondages of this present-day Egypt and called to journey toward the Promised Land. I heard my “coaches voice” coming out within me as I became more forceful in delivering the truth to this young man about the victory that was ahead for him if he simply wanted to accept the gift of what Jesus came to offer him.
BEYOND A CHURCH-THING; THIS IS WARFARE
I firmly believe Jesus came to bridge a gap of brokenness and allow us to come back into relationship with a loving God and Father. That said, as I see the devastation in the life of a young man like the one sitting before me in the office that day, I believe I saw him through the eyes of the Father…not through my own eyes. I believe the compassion that welled up within me had its origins within the heart of the Father, and I believe in those moments, the Father used me to communicate words of life, hope, and truth to this young man which he needed to hear…an offer for life has been extended…the young man has the choice to accept or deny it, but the offer is given, nonetheless.
We were in an office appointment…and yet, I believe there was a war going on in the spirit realm for this young man’s life.
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER
The young man came in the next week, again defeated by relapse and carrying a list of reasons for why he used meth. I called him out on allowing the excuses to dictate his decisions and I reminded him of who I saw within him.
The second week after that initial appointment, he came in with his head elevated a bit. He was on day 4 of being sober from the meth. We talked about taking one-day at a time, and I praised him for beginning to walk in the strength that I saw within him. I am completely mindful that relapse happens even as we are progressing forward, and often we have to learn a completely new way of responding to the relapse that propels us up off the ground and away from self-pity and defeat. As we talked that day, I gave him no “out” for being able to relapse, but I reaffirmed that regardless of what was to take place between that day and our next appointment, I was firmly convinced he has what it takes to overcome.
Then last week, unfortunately while I was out sick, the young man came into the office excited to report to me he was on day 11 of sobriety. The coworker who saw him in my absence documented in the notes that he was excited about telling me of his progress. I left him several messages on Friday giving him encouragement and praising him for his strength. Today, it’s Sunday…I look forward to our next conversation regardless of what’s taken place since he was last in the office.
SEE ME; BELIEVE IN ME
On Friday morning, as I sat in my office reading the notes my coworker typed up, excitement welled up in my heart. The young man was “excited” about what he had accomplished, and he wanted to share this with me, a guy who’d only met him on three previous occasions. Then, a memory from my past revisited me, and this is what’s led to my writing about this situation.
Years ago, I needed someone in a position of influence to believe in me. In my case, it was a junior varsity basketball coach. In those days, I was a tall under-achieving kid who had “learned” to accept “the fact” I wasn’t one of the better players on the team…if I made the team, I had accepted that I would sit on the bench and get minutes when the outcome of the game had long been decided. I had accepted the fact my parents would dutifully attend the games and watch me “perform” in warmups at the beginning of the game and at halftime…never expecting to actually have an influence in the outcomes of games.
Then, Coach Necessary came into my life, and when other classmates got cut during tryouts my 10th grade year, I somehow found myself in a place where not only did I make the team, but I eventually started a couple games. The belief this coach had in me led to a significant change in my junior and senior years of high school…and more importantly for decades to come. What I will forever remember is the power of a person in a position of authority (other than my parents who had to because it came with the title) believing in me not just by word, but by actions.
I began to consider this truth as I thought about the young man on my caseload. I realized how important it is for him (and for us all) to have someone believe in us as we face monumental challenges…and tear down those false identities that had previously ensnared us.
I’m sharing this story because:
- I am so proud of the fight in this young man to get up off the pavement of defeat and take another swing at his demon.
- However, on a greater level, we are all that person in a position of significance at some point in another person’s life. If we will only pay attention to the moments we are in, we could find ourselves playing a pivotal role in someone else’s battle with their personal demons, demons that have haunted them and caused them to embrace an identity less than who they were meant to be.
- Finally, I’m writing this because my Lord came to give life…and life more abundantly, and although we do face an enemy who desires to steal, kill, and destroy in our lives, the fact is, the prison cell has been opened…we simply have to decide if we want to walk out or not.
Again…as I’ve said in previous posts, it’s all about a relationship…not a church building…not a denomination…and it can begin with the simplest of questions… “Lord, are you there?”
Thanks for taking time to read this.