Got To Start somewhere

GETTING TO THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY

Several months ago, my wife made a statement that stuck with me.  We were having a conversation about incorporating some form of physical activity into our lives on a regular basis.  She talked about walking in the neighborhood and said that if she could “just get to the end of the driveway”, she would be successful.  It seemed reasonable if you think about it; we can have so much resistance in the beginning of any positive habit we try to begin, but my wife thought that if she could fight through all that resistance by getting dressed, lacing up her walking shoes, getting out that door, absorbing the cold air hitting her body, and make it to the end of the driveway, she would be successful in walking that day.

As I applied this thought to my own life, I realized I have no problem getting in my truck when I’m going to a local coffee shop, but if I was going to the gym to exercise…all of the sudden that same action of getting dressed and heading out becomes nearly impossible at times! 

Think about your own experiences in making change; how often have you needed to break through a mental barrier to get something productive accomplished and then looked back wondering why it was so hard to start in the first place? 

I MAY NOT BE ALONE HERE…

I’ve found over the years that it’s far easier to listen to someone when I feel they have gone through similar circumstances that make our experiences somewhat relatable.   As a probation officer, I didn’t need to overcome a previous addiction to meth or heroin, but because I could articulate the painful cycle of relapse based on my own experiences, my clients and I had a common place we could stand and talk. 

That said, I choose to write this post today not from a place of victory over my circumstances, but from a place of looking up at some of the mountains I must climb in order to overcome once again.  Those walking in victory may not find this to be of much inspiration, but if even one person out there realizes you may not be alone in your own personal struggles, then you are the one I am writing to tonight. 

Regardless of your circumstances, we are both in a place where we are looking at things in our lives that must change…and we may be asking similar questions…

Here’s mine: “Do I have it in me to fight this fight today?”   

It’s encouraging to me to know I’m not the only one out there struggling with fresh starts, and so for those who are considering their own circumstances, I simply want you to know you’re not alone as you contemplate the decisions you must face.

HALFTIME PEP TALKS DON’T WORK

Years ago, as a high school basketball coach, my players gathered in a dinky locker room during halftime of a game we were being beaten badly in.  The boys were discouraged, and I had about 5 minutes to inject some positivity into their mindset before we headed back out for the second half.  The psychological side of the game was always my stronger suit, so I attempted to point to some smaller goals for the boys to focus on in efforts to get their mind off the scoreboard.  We were clearly not the better team in that game and no halftime adjustments would magically give us a Disneyesque ending. 

My talk worked…sort of, because the boys’ emotional levels increased and by the time we heard the three-horn warning from the scorers table, they were fired up and ready to run out of that locker room onto the court. 

But here’s the thing about halftime pep-talks, it only took that first punch from the opponent and the adrenaline rush was over, leaving my boys with the reality they were in.  All I could do was continually refocus my players on smaller goals we were attempting to accomplish through the remainder of the game… and hope for that clock to countdown as quickly as possible. 

It was a great life-lesson for me to absorb and take into other areas of my life.  There is nothing wrong with being fired up and having an elevated emotional level before a great challenge, but there’s got to be something more in the tank because that adrenaline rush burns off shortly after liftoff with the first setback we experience, and we still need some fuel to sustain the flight if we’re going to succeed. 

What exactly is that fuel?  I propose that it’s something we find when we tap into the logical area of our thinking as opposed to the emotional side.  Emotions can fire us up but having a clear plan that allows for room to anticipate and overcome the resistance we’ll face is required for any victory…like when my wife is fighting the idea of going to the closet to grab her walking shoes…or when she looks at the weather app and sees the temperature is colder than she would like.  There must be a plan in place to propel us past the resistance or we’ll find ourselves never getting to the “end of the driveway.” 

SO, HERE WE ARE

We are where we are…I know, profound huh?  But the point is the only productive thing we can do by looking backward is “learning.”  If we can gain understanding about our decision-making patterns, those destructive thinking patterns and emotional traps that lead us into the ruts we fall into, then we have an opportunity to gain insight and turn these negative experiences into something productive. 

We also need to be painfully honest with ourselves during these times.  Take responsibility; be accountable for being the reason you’ve fallen into the rut…then perhaps you will also own the responsibility and see you possess the power to walk out of that same rut as well. 

1 DEGREE – THE AGGREGATION OF MARGINAL GAINS

I’ve written about this experience in previous posts, but years ago as a probation officer, I had a thought as I prepared for my days’ appointments.  I considered the consequences of a plane flying one-degree off-course: the further that plane traveled, the larger the gap between its current target and it’s intended target. 

I soon determined there must be a name for this phenomenon because it seemed like a scientific principle of sorts, so I went to Google and learned experts in air navigation refer to this as the “1 in 60 Rule”.   It’s very simple: for every one degree a plane veers off-course, it will miss it’s intended mark by 1 mile for every 60 miles it travels.

I then considered this concept as it related to my probation clients.  I realized we can be guilty of spending so much time on the big issues in a person’s life: positive drug tests (or missed drug tests), missed treatment groups; unemployment, etc. etc.  Don’t get me wrong, these are issues that must be addressed, but I can only wonder how many of these issues are the result of a person flying 1-degree off-course for decades.  Now consider the possibility that once you’re off-course one-degree, it can become easier to then become 2-degrees, then 3-degrees, then 5-degrees off-course. 

Do you begin to see how the distance can increase exponentially between our goals and where we end up as we creep off-course?  Well, what if we turn the tables and use this same concept to get back on course? 

In his book, “Atomic Habits”, James Clear shares a story of the turnaround in the British Cycling team over a short period of time using a strategy referred to as “the aggregation of marginal gains”.   In a nutshell, the strategy refers to the results of focusing on improvements as little as 1% every day in many areas, and how this  leads to large scale overall improvement.

As I consider goals in my life, it becomes less intimidating and overwhelming and more attainable to consider the idea of searching for 1-degree improvements in multiple areas of my life.  Can I improve my use of spare time by 1% today?  Can I exercise 1% more today than yesterday?  Can I spend 1% more time writing today than I did yesterday?  Can I eat 1% healthier today than yesterday?  See?  Sounds doable doesn’t it? 

EATING ELEPHANTS

Although I never really understood this metaphor, I remember years ago being asked by a mentor, “How do you eat an elephant?”  “Well…I don’t.  I never thought about eating an elephant and now that you pose the question, I don’t think I ever want to eat an elephant.”  Although that wasn’t his point, he wanted to emphasize that you eat the elephant one bite at a time as opposed to trying to put the whole elephant in your mouth…

I’ll let you work through whatever imagery you have in your mind before moving on.

CLIMBING MOUNTAINS

Climbing Mountains is a theme of this blog, and as I consider climbing those beautiful Colorado peaks to my west, the act of getting to the top is really about having the necessary supplies packed in my gear, putting one foot in front of the other, not deviating off-course, and not turning around.

Once you’ve put together enough steps, you take a bit of time to look back and reflect on how much you’ve accomplished thus far, but then, you turn around, and begin the process of putting one foot in front of the other once again. 

Enjoy the journey; take satisfaction in the process; but don’t stop and don’t change courses.

NOW…

What is a 1% improvement you can begin going after from right where you are at?