SMALL HINGES; LARGE DOORS
I was once reading from a book titled “Violent Prayer” by Chris Tiegreen about some strategic battles within World War II: Normandy in the battle with Nazi Germany and Iwo Jima in the battle of the Pacific. Both battles were instrumental in America establishing a foothold and progressing in the war. Neither battle ended the war…but each were significant in determining the outcome to their respective Campaigns.
The author then talked about the Battle of Antietam in the Civil War. He stated that this battle turned the Civil War from being a conflict about sovereignty into a fight against slavery. With the outcome of this specific battle being as it was, the author goes on to say that France and Britain could no longer assist the Confederacy without appearing like they supported slavery. The battle took place in September 1862, three years before the war ended.
The author makes a powerful point by using a very simple analogy when he says:
SMALL hinges allow LARGE doors to swing open and shut.
MOMENTUM
As I read the author’s point, I began thinking of experiences I had as a basketball coach. There’s this funny thing called “momentum” which cannot be seen yet is an incredibly powerful force. We see the effect of momentum in the sports world:
- as one team becomes more confident and the other begins to play timidly.
- through the evidence reflected on the scoreboard.
- and, we experience the effect through the reaction of the crowd as it either becomes loud with excitement or quiet with growing concern.
Often, a knowledgeable spectator can look back to certain moments of a game and say, “that’s when the game was won (or lost)!”: in that moment . . . on that 3rd down defensive stop; on that offensive conversion; on that turnover. Long before the game actually ended, something shifted in the atmosphere beyond our sight, but not beyond our awareness.
This is what I would define as a critical moment. It’s that moment in time when something took place to alter the current direction of flow, leading to a different conclusion.
This is not a concept reserved solely for the sporting world either; think about the moment when:
- an addict made the decision to check into rehab.
- a person decided to return to complete their degree program.
- a person accomplished their dream of securing an active lifestyle.
Critical moments often take place in moments where circumstances appear quite negative on one side but are then suddenly replaced by moments of hope and determination on the other side.
ANY MOMENT COULD BE YOUR CRITICAL MOMENT
For years, the concept of change has been a significant part of my life, both professionally and personally. Negative circumstances can be defeating if one allows them to be, or they can be a “critical moment” that fuels a person into the stage of change that forever alters the trajectory of their lives. What will it be for you?
In many ways, change is just a decision away for so many of us. Sure! There is much follow-through that must take place, but before the follow-through has the opportunity to prove itself, we find ourselves in what I’ll simply call “a moment.” What we do in that moment is what sets that moment apart from all the other moments in our lives…it’s the moment we made a decision…changed directions…changed a thinking pattern…got fed up with our circumstances…etc. etc.
OWN YOUR SHIT
As I look back on the many people I’ve worked with over the years, those that took accountability for their circumstances and stopped blaming others seemed much more likely to make the changes they desperately wanted for their lives. So often I would challenge a person to own their shit instead of blaming others for the circumstances they were in (I’m being prompted to change my language as it may be offensive to readers…but can I say that sometimes you just have to call it what it is?). I was usually able to get away with talking to my clients this way because I would point out that it was out of respect that I was addressing them in that manner.
To allow a person to remain in a victim mentality is to allow a person to remain in a place of powerlessness over their circumstances. Sure, you can be the victim of a crime…it doesn’t mean you have to remain a victim though? Find the places within the circumstances that you can own, take responsibility for it, learn from it, and then, rise up to a better place because of it. Accountability is a powerful concept because it allows a person to take control of their circumstances and to dictate where things go. Accountability can be that critical moment in a person’s life that helps them to change directions.
EAGLES vs. CROWS
I once heard a comparison made between these two birds and how they respond to storms. The crow heads for the cover of the trees to outlast the storm while the eagle uses the force of the storm to soar higher and higher until it has risen to an altitude above the storm. Consider that imagery when it comes to the metaphorical storms in our life? We were made to soar, not head for cover. For us to gain the altitude required to soar that high…we must harness the power of the storms in our life. To do this, we must see the opportunity that comes to us in the form of a “storm”.
Therein lies the critical moment within that storm…to see the opportunity, and not to simply see the storm.
MICHAEL
Michael text me a few weeks ago. We hadn’t talked since I left my job at probation almost 2 years ago. Michael was doing well and he just wanted me to know. He’s been sober for 20 months now and was enrolled in a local community college with the goal of being a drug and alcohol counselor. I won’t go too far into his story, but I’ll tell you he entered prison about 10 years ago as a teenager while other kids were thinking about post-graduation plans after high school…and I’ll tell you he was on probation with me a couple years ago for multiple felonies in multiple states.
So…what happened? Somewhere within the darker hours of his life he chose to own his circumstances and begin the process of changing what he had control over. Somewhere within some not-very-pretty moments in his life, a critical moment took place that led to a complete change in his direction. Knowing Michael like I do…20 months of sobriety is like a lifetime!
For every Michael…there are so many who are not prepared to take control of those darker moments and turn them into something life-changing.
REFLECTION
Would you be willing to take a moment to look back on your day today. Can you identify moments where momentum turned either in your favor or against you? It’s great when we can reflect on those moments where we “won”…but if we learn from those moments we “lost” and it becomes a critical moment where our life trajectory made a favorable change… did we really lose?
BEFORE I CHECK OUT
If we were sitting at a local coffeehouse having a conversation, you would most likely hear the compassion within my voice and see it within my body language. Unfortunately, you can see neither, so lest I come across as a jerk in my moments of talking about victims and accountability, understand this: I completely believe there are events that take place in our lives which we had no control over, so all we can do is determine how we want to respond from here.
However, there are other events that take place where we can find some measure of accountability (even if only a small portion) to own for the circumstances we found ourselves in. Empowerment would allow us to own that portion without taking responsibility for someone else’s actions. It may very well be that in those moments of accountability, you find yourself in a critical moment that changes your life forever.
Again, if you find yourself challenged or encouraged by this post, please let me know. Like the post, follow me, share your journey with me. I find I am so encouraged as I unpack my own………….shit……. (okay, I said it), when I know I am not out there on my own.