THE UPSIDE TO WILDERNESS
There’s a beauty to the wilderness; a land untouched by time; a sense that where you stand is a place few have stood at any point in the human experience. Often, there are opportunities to see the world around us from an expanded perspective; to see the daily issues we face in a different light, and hopefully to see those issues as much smaller and less imposing in reality than we had previously seen them.
Wilderness offers us the opportunity to separate from distractions, to hear the quieter messages that have attempted to reach our heart. Wilderness allows us to gather our thoughts, create effective perspective, and come back to our version of reality with a game plan for how we are going to live differently.
In this sense, wilderness can be inspiring, comforting…and safe. I find myself longing for this perspective of wilderness even as I sit in my favorite coffeehouse typing these thoughts, but there’s another side to this place of wilderness, a side that can impact us in a much different way.
THE FIERCENESS OF WILDERNESS
Years ago, I shared an experience with a coworker who I knew to be an avid outdoorsman. As my wife and I hiked along a riverbed up in Rocky Mountain National Park, the trail led into a large clearing away from the river. That’s when we heard the noise…
As we looked into the general direction of the noise, we saw an adult female moose emerge from the thick trees and brush with her young one right behind her traveling in our general direction. Fear immediately gripped my heart because we were close enough to be considered a threat, and there were no trees to place between ourselves and a charging moose.
As I shared this experience, my coworker listened with delight. When I finished he let out a deep sigh and made a comment I think I will forever remember. He said, “isn’t there’s something exhilarating about not being at the top of the food chain?” My first thought was…”uh, no!”
But here I am some twenty years later considering that question once again. Is there something exhilarating about this perspective of wilderness? The lack of control in outcomes, the sense that our skill set may be of no match for our circumstances, in short…the reality that we are without guarantee we will succeed against whatever opposition we face… My response now is, “it depends.”
As I sat in the coffeehouse considering the idea of “wilderness”, I’m aware that I have been experiencing the fierceness of the wilderness for some time now. There is nothing inspiring, comforting and safe about this place I’m in; I feel the sense of a loss of control, a question of whether I have the skills to match my circumstances, and I currently feel no guarantee I will succeed against what I’m facing.
Wow…that sounds like a lot of drama, but it feels very real in these moments.
My thoughts then drifted to Black Lake. Let me take a few moments to share a bit about that experience.
BLACK LAKE
It was late September, 2020, and as I drove up to Rocky Mountain National Park in the dark early hours of that Sunday morning, I was still unsure where I was going to venture…perhaps not very smart when you’re hiking alone. As I sat in my truck watching the wind whip the trees around me, I decided to stay in the valleys rather than attempt to go above treeline, so Black Lake was my decision.
Black Lake is a high alpine lake sitting at around 10,500 feet elevation and located a bit over 5 miles out from the closest road. On the trail, there were a descent number of people along the way until I reached Mills Lake at about the 2.5 mile mark. Once I pressed on past Mills, I saw only one other hiker traveling the opposite direction for the remaining 2.5 miles, or about 90 minutes.
I share this experience here because while I was out there alone, I had plenty of time to wonder if I was the only person that far out. I questioned if anyone would find me if I got hurt…and my old coworker’s voice returned as I imagined once again being at a lower end of the food chain and not knowing it in the moment. See, I’ve got this “thing” about crossing paths with a mountain lion…and my imagination was running in high gear during parts of the trek.
I’ll be honest, there were times I thought about turning around because I was 58 years old, had bad knees, and I wondered if I had pushed beyond common sense in what I was doing. Although I’m thankful I pushed through these fears and kept going, I will say, being alone in these elements tested my convictions to reach my goal.
ONLY ONE QUESTION
As I considered “wilderness” this morning, I again thought about those many moments out on the Black Lake Trail where I felt uncertainty as well as a chill about the potential dangers surrounding me.
In this moment, only one question really seems important to me. “Lord, am I completely lost out here in this wilderness, or is your Spirit with me…leading me?” To know that I am not alone out here on this trail; and more importantly, to know that He is actually leading me out here…it makes all the difference in how I look at my current circumstances.
However, if I am out here due to my own poor choices, due to blowing through warning signs along the way, then my concern for where I am is only heightened.
TWO VERY DIFFERENT OUTCOMES
Several weeks ago I began to consider two very different “wilderness” experiences in the Bible. The first was that of the Israelites when they left Egypt in the story of the Exodus. The second experience was the story of Jesus being led into the Wilderness by the Holy Spirit.
What caught my attention was how the Spirit of God was leading both Jesus and the nation of Israel into this wilderness. I understood that there was a purpose to this experience and that God was right in the middle of it all. However, as anyone familiar with these stories would know, there were two very different outcomes.
In the Exodus, the Israelites failed to learn during this wilderness time how to find their identity and their reliance upon God. In fact, they went so far as to judge God to be untrustworthy and constantly complained about being led by Moses and by God into the wilderness to die. At one point they even had the skewed perspective that being in bondage as slaves in Egypt was preferred to being in this wilderness:
- Exodus 16:3 “The sons of Israel said to them, ‘Would that we had died by the LORD’S hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.’ ”
Just a quick comment on the Israelites perspective here: if we read about the conditions leading up to Israel leaving Egypt, I read nothing about them living in some all-inclusive resort sitting around pots of meat and eating all the bread they wanted. What I do read about is a brutal life as Pharaoh broke their backs and their spirits building his empire. So I find it interesting that “wilderness” has the capability of skewing our memories regarding what we experienced dramatically.
The Israelites of the Exodus failed to learn who they were created to be and they failed to truly “know” the character of their God (despite all the miracles that took place before their eyes), and this led to their reaction to the report of the 12 spies who entered the Promised Land to check it out. Their response of doubt and unbelief in God’s promises and their inability of seeing who they were in God’s eyes led to the entire generation wandering in the wilderness and dying there.
In the second experience, Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness for 40 days after he was baptized by John. Although we don’t know much of anything about what took place during that 40-days, what caught my eye in this story was this:
- Luke 4:14 “And Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about Him spread through all the surrounding district.”
Although I am aware we will always fall short in being like Jesus, we are to look to His life as an example. God could have spoke the word, snapped a finger, or done something to instantly accomplish a work, but for whatever reason, he took Jesus into the wilderness for 40 days. I don’t know all that took place, but there was a process God followed; He led Jesus through this process and I believe He also leads us out into the wilderness to bring us through a process as well. Also, I do know based on what I read that when He returned from his 40-days in the wilderness, He returned “in the power of the Spirit.”
What I glean from the two stories is there are different outcomes that can take place depending on how we respond to the process of wilderness. We’ve always been given the opportunity to choose…even from the beginning. Here it is no different, we can embrace what it is we are to learn, or we can fight it.
WHERE IS OUR WILDERNESS
“Wilderness” may have been a physically dry and barren place in these two examples from the Bible, but I do believe “wilderness” can be a metaphorical place we find ourselves in, even while we go to our jobs, live in our neighborhoods, and generally just do life. Wilderness can be a place where we feel alone, directionless, and are filled with self-doubt. I believe we can experience ‘wilderness” even as we shop in a crowded store, sit in a coffeehouse, or sit in traffic jams as we commute home. Wilderness can be a place where we actually ask, “Lord, are you here with me, or have I lost my way?”
EMBRACE THE PROCESS
It’s a hard decision to make, but I believe that we must be intentional every day in making the decision to embrace this process. I believe it’s also important to know we are not alone, we are not experiencing something unique, although it may manifest differently with everyone.
Perhaps for many, we are in “wilderness” due to poor choices. Okay, own the responsibility for those choices and walk forward. For many, we are in “wilderness” because there is a process we must move through…there are things we must learn.
I’ll be preachy to end this here and say that I believe God wants to do a work in our lives where we learn who He is, who we are in relation to who He is, and where we learn we can count on Him regardless of what we are facing…even if it’s a mountain lion or a moose!
How these lessons impact our future decisions could be incredibly powerful and it is my hope I will look back and be very thankful for this “wilderness experience.”
If you’re out there as you read this, know that you are not alone, and I wish you success as you keep stepping forward.