DIAGNOSIS: DRY & EMPTY
It was about 7:30am as I stood talking with my wife. Suddenly my phone sent a notification…a potential real estate lead! I almost hit the phone but then hesitated, telling my wife that what I really needed in that moment was to be quiet before the Lord. (Stay with me here, this isn’t a sermon…) I was worn down, tired, lacking vision and passion…I didn’t feel like I had a lot to offer in those moments.
See, I knew what would happen if I won that lead: I’d get a call within a minute or two from a service rep giving me a warm handoff to the potential lead. The person would then tell me about a property of interest, and I’d be off to my computer doing some research and attempting to set up an appointment with this person. Absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, and yet as positive as this was, it wasn’t what I needed in this moment.
I’ve been wrapped up with real estate, with thoughts about starting a club team for youth basketball, with stresses surrounding my aging mother, general life stuff, all the crap surrounding the times we live in…etc. I knew what I needed, I needed to quiet my soul…and I needed to do it right then and there.
TAKING OR GIVING
Perhaps after 30 minutes or so of fighting off various distractions I was successful in quieting my mind. As I meditated, it occurred to me that everything in this life “takes” from us, even the positive things. Only one source “gives” and that is the intimacy of relationship with the true Source of Life.
Before I’m dismissed on this, think about the good things we can become involved in. Have you heard of coaching burnout? People get into coaching for a variety of reasons, but for most, there is a passion to teach and to develop the players entrusted to them. How can a person get burned out if the rewards are that positive? What about Pastors? I’ve heard of many pastors leaving the ministry due to burn-out? Why is this? Did they completely miss out on God’s direction in the first place…or is it possible that as worthy as ministry is…it is not a source of life but instead takes from us? Education is another place where I’ve heard of burn-out, with many gifted teachers leaving the field. I can’t think of one teacher that went into the field because they were in search of a high income…they did it because it was a passion. Okay…then what happened? Children/Grandchildren? What a joy they can bring right? If they’re a source of life, why do we need a break, a respite, a time to recharge? Consider the hobbies you find reward in…do they fill you up, or are they an enjoyable task that ultimately leaves you emptier than you started? See, it’s really not just the negative things in our life that take from us…the negative things just take larger chunks when they do take.
SPLITTING HAIRS HERE…
At this moment I feel a need to split some hairs. I can totally find life in hiking into the high country…but I assure you, the life is not in the hiking, nor is it in the beauty of my surroundings. The life I find is in communion with God in the midst of the activity. As my climb takes me further away from the population and closer to those snow capped 14’ers, the beauty draws me to the greatness of God my Creator…the creator of those peaks, the beautiful waterfalls, and the open meadows I cross through. I assure you; the life is not found in the hiking…it’s found within the only Source of Life.
THE PEACH BLOSSOM (see pictures)
As I reflected that morning upon all the good activities that ultimately still “take” from us, my mind was prompted to consider the peach tree in my backyard. This spring the tree is full of blossoms and I’m hoping for a harvest like I had two summers ago. Several weeks ago, I had to cut off a large branch that was extending across my fence line into the neighbor’s yard. This branch continued to show the evidence of life, but a split down the middle of the branch had become so large I could see through the crack to the fence beyond it. In anticipation of this becoming a problem later this summer, I decided to cut off the branch and left it laying on the ground.
On this Monday morning, my mind was drawn to that branch. It occurred to me that after two weeks, the peach blossoms on that cut off branch still gave an illusion of life…they still offered a promise of some future fruit, even though the branch had been cut off from its source (see pictures). The illustration of false promises offered by those blossoms hit home with me.
I’ve become a suspicious seeker and I’m trying to be honest in my conversations with the Father about having an authentic walk with Christ. I’m pretty much running in the opposite direction from anything that resembles my previous evangelical Christian experience, and something within my spirit tells me I’m in an okay spot…but I am in desperate need of plugging into the Source of Life. I have no problem running from ritual…however, I do not want to run from authentic relationship.
I’M JUST DOING MY THING
I share the experience of this past Monday morning for no other reason than to share what it is teaching me. I’m doing my thing and as I said, feel pretty much okay with the process right now. I have a nature to want to teach, to challenge, to motivate….but today, my challenge is to seek. You don’t have to go to some multi-million dollar building to do it either…just be an authentic seeker. Be honest and genuine with the silent voice you hear yourself conversing with…it just may not be your own.