It was a door of opportunity in front of the young man, and some unfamiliar drive from within propelled him forward. He had to understand this stirring in his heart. He’d heard things that challenged him, and he saw things that, frankly, had he not witnessed with his own eyes, he would not have believed. He had to have an answer.
He was being drawn toward this speaker that he’d heard so many rumors about in the preceding days and weeks, and the speaker was looking right at him. This was his moment of opportunity…it was like some weird scene in a movie where a pathway clears, and the crowd shifts to the left and to the right…nothing stood between him and the speaker. In a random moment, he wondered if a red carpet would roll out before him.
He knew he would regret taking the cowardly way out…but did he really want to know the answer to this question burning in his heart? Was he prepared to handle the truth? The famous line from a Jack Nicholson movie echoed in his mind, “you can’t handle the truth!” He found his legs moving him forward even as his mind screamed “run!” What a strange sensation…the speaker locked eyes with him in the crowd while they were still 15-20 feet apart and the speaker never looked away…it was like he knew the young guy had a question and his unbroken gaze seemed to draw the young man in.
They stood face-to-face now, and the speaker gave him his full attention. Fear seemed to dissipate, and he felt an inviting warmth in the presence of this man who spoke with such power and authority only moments earlier. The place was crowded and full of energy, and yet the young man felt he’d entered a sanctuary and it was just the two of them. The speaker seemed so patient and kind as he waited for the young man to speak…his lips began to move…
“Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?”
The Teacher smiled, he seemed pleased with the hunger this young man had for the truth. The Teacher began answering the question…but there was something wrong in the response. The answer was doing nothing to satisfy this stirring in the core of his being, and in fact, it appeared to only agitate the young man. He’d heard all of these words before, from so many other religious leaders…leaders who spoke empty words with little power or authority, just another laundry list of do-gooder tasks.
Even as the Teacher continued in his response, the young man felt a scream building from somewhere in the depth of his soul…it started out like a whisper…no. No. NO!
With a mounting desperation the young man grabbed the Teacher’s arm and said, “All these things I have kept…” and then he hesitated. Something almost supernatural was taking place in this moment. Light began trickling into the darkness, walls of deception cracked and crumbled as truth pushed forth. The young man began to sense waves of seeing, hearing, and understanding like he’d never known before. He wanted to stop right there…but he couldn’t. He had to know; he simply had to know!
“What am I still lacking?”
The Teacher paused. His look made the young man feel like the teacher was looking right inside his soul. The Teacher began to respond…but this time, the words spoke right into his heart…it was a direct hit, mortally exposing the death that for years had so effectively hidden within him…truth exposed the hidden things of the heart…it was not what he wanted to hear.
Okay, so I took some liberty here in adding some details to an exchange that took place between Jesus and a guy referred to only as “The Rich Young Man” or in some translations, “The Rich Young Ruler”. It can be found in the bible in the Book of Matthew, chapter 19 if you want to read it.
Last night, I sat alone in a dark room, wide awake from drinking too much coffee into the evening hours. As I sat thinking about all kinds of random things and trying to quiet my heart, the question came into my mind, “what am I still lacking?” I reflected on that story in Matthew 19 and then I wondered…do I really want to ask that question? Do I really want to hear the answer? You can’t unhear answers spoken from the Throne of Heaven.
I’ve had many thoughts this evening as I considered writing this…and they may come at a later time…maybe not. But I’ll say this: The Gospel is uncomfortable…it’s challenging…it’s confronting. Sure, there is a foundation of love, grace, and mercy…there is joy and hope and all those words we hear over and over…but there is a price to be paid…there are questions that must be asked of this Teacher we follow. Do we really want to hear the answers?
With great sadness this young man I speak of walked away when he heard the answer to the question. He was not prepared to give what was being asked of him.
Am I?
Are you?